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onewithnomightypowers · 3 years ago

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clandestine (chapter 7)

PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.

chapter 7: rabbit hole

A/N: i do not encourage cheating. omg THE LAST CHAPTER!!!! i hope you guys like this chapter!! feedback is always appreciated. thanks for reading <3

warnings: drinking, cursing, hate comments

word count: 1.6k

important: bold and italic are character thoughts

series masterlist main masterlist chapter 6

Love, easy it comes and easy it goes. Y/N and Haz’ calamitous love had no tracks ahead of it. The only thing they could do was jump off the train before it crashed and burned. Y/N took that step and fell on Tom’s doorstep. When Haz saw her leave, he understood that hurt couldn’t save a dying soul, so he jumped too, causing their marriage to fall off a hill.

They left the hobbit’s room with a sea of change in their aura. Both had bloodshot eyes from all the rivers they swam through. “I will go settle the tab”, Haz said without meeting her eyes. Y/N walked towards her driver, Arnold, who was standing near the main entrance, eager to tell her about the situation outside.

“There is a herd of paparazzi out there, ma’am”, he said.

Y/N hummed in acknowledgment.

“Shall we go?” Haz walked over to them.

“Yeah”, her voice was small and dry.

Arnold opened the door and stayed ahead to make way for them in between the storm of people. They were all screaming something over one another, making it hard to understand. Haz and Y/N had their heads down, trying to hide the stained cheeks from the blinding lights. Haz clutched Y/N’s hand protectively, out of habit.

They made their way inside the car, parked not so far away from the pub.

“You can stay with me tonight, you’re leaving for New York tomorrow morning anyway”, Y/N said looking outside the window.

“It's fine Y/N, I can get a hotel room”

“No, I insist”, her eyes focused on the lamp heads passing them by.

“Okay, I’ll take the couch”

“You can sleep on the bed, with me”

Haz found Y/N’s hand in the dark backseat and squeezed it affectionately.

That night was the last time they slept together in the same bed. When Y/N woke up the next morning, he was already gone. He left a note on the refrigerator that read, ‘thank you for everything’. A bittersweet smile took over her face.

Y/N needed some time to herself, but she also needed to inform people about her decision. She craft an email to her manager, agent and her lawyer. All of them were sent the exact same email.

Harrison and I have decided to end our marriage. I would like to file for divorce as soon as possible, and the process should be civil. I will be unavailable for a few days, so do what you have to with the news.

Y/N

She also sent her parents that email but as a text on the family group chat.

It’s short and to the point, let’s hope they don’t call me with a million questions.

When it came to Tom, she noticed that he had sent her an image a few seconds ago. It was a screenshot of a TMZ article. The headline was, ‘Y/N left her movie premiere early to meet her husband’, it wasn’t jarring but the photo underneath the headline was. Haz was holding Y/N’s hand as tightly he physically could, both of their bodies looked tired and Y/N’s makeup was all messed up. She hadn’t noticed any of that in the moment, last night.

Tom sent her another text.

Tom: Are you ok?

Y/N: not really, I’m filing for divorce

Tom: oh, do you want me to come over?

Y/N: I think I want some time to myself right now

Y/N: I’ll probably watch Gilmore girls the whole weekend

Tom: ok, I’m here if you need anything

Tom: love you

Y/N: you too

---

On Monday, the news broke. The whole world now knew that their marriage was over. The news outlets tried their best to be creative with headlines.

‘Their kingdom has come and gone: Harrison and Y/N file for divorce’

‘Harrison and Y/N, Hollywood’s perfect couple not so perfect anymore’

These were some of the most impressive ones according to Y/N’s management team but they decided to keep it to themselves. No one had heard from Y/N since Saturday. Even though she had told them that she would be unavailable, they still sent emails, warning her to stay off social media sites, especially twitter, the creator of hate wagons.

Twitter was not kind to her at all. Their divorce was trending in the entertainment section. Many people thought that it was their right to comment on this situation. They had a lot to say, mostly about Y/N.

Y/N would often find herself diving into the rabbit hole of her trending tag. She would read almost everything they had to say about her, the good and the bad, but the bad overwhelmed the good.

‘She was only in it to get famous’

‘She ugly if I was Harrison then I would drop that ass too’

‘She is so fake’

‘Harrison is better off without her’

‘She was def cheating on him’

‘Why would someone even love Y/N’

She didn’t notice, but this was getting to her. She would constantly stare at her reflection, picking her appearance apart because someone on the internet called her ugly. Y/N would rethink everything she ever said in front of the media wondering whether she sounded fake or not. She would wake in the middle of the night, pacing like a ghost, thinking she didn’t deserve Tom at all and that he would realise soon enough.

All would be lost.

Even though she thought no one noticed that she was slowly losing her mind, Tom did. He would look at her touching her face, getting lost in deep thoughts. He could feel her tossing and turning in the bed, every night. He would look through her while she’s looking through her phone. Her leg would never stop fidgeting while at rest. He noticed everything.

He took it upon himself to save her from the demons. It was late evening, Tom picked Y/N up from the set. The whole ride home, Y/N was on her phone, mindlessly scrolling through her twitter, reading every inch and every corner. No words could escape her.

When they reached home Y/N informed Tom that she was going to take a shower. Tom was in the kitchen getting the food ready, when he saw Y/N’s phone unattended on the kitchen island. He was tempted to go through with his plan.

He picked up her phone and unlocked it, he knew her password. He went on deleting every social media app from her phone and also changed his contact DP on her phone. Earlier it was an embarrassing childhood photo, he changed it to a scanned Polaroid photo of them together.

Y/N came out with a towel tied up her head. She grabbed two plates from the cabinet and set them on the island.

“What are you making?” she asks him.

“Rice paper rolls”

“So we’re having Vietnamese today, interesting”, she grabbed her phone to check her Instagram.

Where the fuck are all my apps?

“I think my phone has some defect, the Instagram and twitter apps got deleted”, Y/N says vigorously swiping through her phone.

“That’s not a defect I did that”, Tom served the dinner.

“You did what? You have no right to go through my phone and delete apps without my permission, Tom.”

“It’s for your own good, all of that shit was getting to your head”, he said calmly.

“No it wasn’t” she poorly defended herself.

“Yes it was, you were letting some random divs tell you what you are worth. That’s fucked up, babe”

She lets out a loud grunt, filled with frustration.

They both ate in silence, only the crunch of vegetables audible.

After Tom was done with his dinner, he got up, placed his dish in the sink, picked up his coat from the sofa and walked towards the door. Y/N’s eyes never stopped following his figure.

“I think I should go back to my apartment”, before Y/N could reply, Tom was out of the door.

They didn’t talk for a day but Y/N realised how peaceful she felt without having other people’s opinions being fed to her constantly. She felt less insecure about her body, her personality and especially Tom.

He loves me so much that he was ready to invade my privacy to help me.

She decides to call Tom, noticing the unfamiliar photo on his contact. The phone rung, he picked it up on the second ring.

“You little shit changed your photo, huh” her smile was audible.

“I did and I’m sorry”

“No, I’m sorry. You were right, I do feel better with all the noise gone, but you know what would make me feel much better, you, here with me”

---

Tom came over almost instantly, it was like he was already halfway to her apartment when she called. They were on the couch, watching a movie on Y/N’s laptop. Y/N had her head on Tom’s lap and he was playing with her hair.

Holding her breath, Y/N slowly said, “You didn’t need to save me, you know”

“I know”, he replies nonchalantly.

“But the real question is, would you run away with me?”

“Of course, where to darling?”

“Somewhere no one can find us and it’s only the two of us”, she scrunches her face.

“Do you remember the first time we kissed, at the pub?”

“Yeah”, she replied, fondly remembering that moment.

“You said we should go to Ireland together and I said don’t make empty promises”

“Well, do you want to run away to Ireland with me?”

“Yes”, he bent downwards and kissed her softly.

THE END

@mysticapples17 @storybookholland @flqwsome @hollandstanevans

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland self insert #harrison osterfeild x reader #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield x you #marvel #marvel fanfiction #taylor swift

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onlyhereforangst · 3 years ago

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WWR

The Talk™️

lololol just kidding sorry Laura I love you here’s the real thing just in time 😘😘

We start with Ellie being veeeeery sus 👀 checking out Eastern Europe and the various countries, I mean yes there are plenty of nice, beautiful places there but this is a procedural aka obviously that area can only be shady. I also love that Nick came up silently and waited, watched what she was doing very intently, before announcing his presence. Almost like he’s been suspecting something is up with her for a little while now and seized on this perfect opportunity to do a little digging. But at the same time he doesn’t let it go on too long, and he almost gives her an out- he doesn’t accuse her of being shady AF, instead he’s like oh clearly she’s planning a trip because she’s always talked about loving Eastern Europe not the Bahamas like we’d just gotten jealous over a year ago…right, Ellie? A trip? And then her response ooo girl. She starts to get uber defensive and then realizes that oh wait, he handed me an out on a silver platter so yeah let me take it real quick. AND HE DOESN’T CALL HER ON IT. That’s the real good stuff in this scene- he’s a trained federal agent with years of undercover work, he can tell when someone is outright lying *especially* when that someone is Ellie. So he takes her defensive hesitation and than blatant lie and rolls with it. Beeeecause he trusts her. He trusts her to tell him when she’s ready. He saw how hurt she got when he kept bothering her after the kidnapping, and also saw her tell him once she was ready to. So yeah, he gets it now. He may be seriously concerned for her underneath that joking exterior, but he trusts her to tell him when the time is right, and also likely feels she wouldn’t keep anything huge huge from him. *cue getting ready for heartbreak in the finale it’s fine everything is fine*

Of course we move on to the flirty stuff because we avoid serious talk here 🙄 Ellie still sus though don’t get it wrong, shutting that laptop real quick when he rounds the corner taking no further chances. And her crossing her arms while he offends her choice of “vacation” hahaha she’s so obvious, honey you got the hots for him it’s ok. Little middle school flirting like oh yeah you can do better? Prove it jerk. And Niiiiiick 🥵 I wish you could see the screenshot I’m paused on right now after he says it depends on who he’s going with before he asks her who she’s going with because DAMN that look. He can think of one (1) person and one person only who he’d go on a trip with. Her little smirk back before she decides to throw all pretense to the wayside and says fuck it I don’t care that we’re in the bullpen out in the open lemme flirt with you ~*Agent Torres*~ AND HE’S LIKE TWO CAN PLAY AGENT BISHOP PLEASE INVITE ME ON YOUR TRIP THAT I KNOW DOESN’T EXIST BUT I’D LIKE TO KNOW I’D BE INVITED IF IT DID. And please her giddy smile afterwards and then she goes from leaning back in her chair to leaning forward towards him because these two are absolutely drawn to each other bitches and I can’t get enough of them and their little playful smiles and body language. AND NEITHER CAN JIMMY.

Jimmy is the ellick fandom. Because yes, keep going this is ✨just delightful✨ and I never want it to stop unless you’re kissing. Thank you. And pleeeeease them stumbling over their words when they realized they’ve been caught I CANT. They both look *so* uncomfortable and it’s hilarious, and then Ellie can’t help but laugh at Nick’s dumb joke making fun of Jimmy because it’s her man and he’s so *funny*.

Bring us to Jimmy redeeming himself. But also yes this just confirms to me that he told Nick what he needed to hear back when he said zero chemistry. And now Jimmy’s observed silently, see where Nick has come in the last year and everything the two have been through and knows he ready to hear it for real. Well Jimmy was ready a while ago for them to move it along so yeah he’s like where’s my spoon I’m gonna STIR THIS POT. And then it is born, the slogan of the episode, the point of the WWR (please don’t have PTSD Laura), The Talk™️. Nick’s face oooo man, he initially tries to deflect like no we aren’t talking about that cozy scene nuh uh and then it turns into his worst nightmare- being called out by James Palmer of all people with Ellie literally five feet away. (ALSO MCGEE IS LITERALLY A FOOT BEHIND THEM. He 1000% heard this entire conversation if Ellie heard it. Bro better not try to deny a single thing later I’m watching you sir 👀) Nick’s expression is screaming what the fuck shut UP Jimmy this can’t possibly be happening so let me try to joke and deflect again (small smile because it was still a little funny) and then back to what the fuck he’s undeterred shit shit shit oh thank god McGee has started talking yes we have a goddamn huge problem autopsy gremlin won’t take the damn hint.

And woooooow the first time I’ve seen Nick at his desk in a while 👀👀 he said shit people are on to me let me put ✨space✨ in between us for like five seconds while we still shoot each other cute smiles.

Oooooooh now we here for the evisceration. The Here Lies James Palmer moment of the episode. Catch me dYING in the club, not crying. Because holy shit Ellie this was not only brutal and Brian absolutely killed it during this scene with his reactions to Ellie ripping him apart. His “oh…Oh…oooh.” Had me cackling. And Ellie you are the poster child of defensive, pulling out all the stops. Let me deny everything, let me then be a slight hypocrite because people shouldn’t be talking about me (because I’m terrified about considering broaching that topic too) but I can talk about Gibbs and Sloane previously, and then also like sort of admitting to it by asking Jimmy what people think is going on because that’s the question she would *love* to know the answer to but hasn’t gotten yet. All the while cue me laughing hysterically at jimmy, top tier scene right here lets be honest. Because then Kasie comes in and it’s just perfect 🤣🤣🤣 this was his sister, Painful. Couldn’t have said it better myself Kasie 😭💀

Lol at McGee telling Ellie not to tell Nick he was right about it being a coincidence 😂

HOW CLOSE DO WE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER Y’ALL. HOW CLOSE. THERE’S A WHOLE GODDAMN BULLPEN. Remember when I said Nick wanted space for 5 whole seconds, yeah this is why. They’re straight magnets - drawn together indubitably 👀

Quick detour for the continued storyline of sus!Ellie and it makes me even more and more excited for the finaleeeeee. Because honey why do you know it takes 10 pounds of pressure to rip a trachea out and yes we all know it’s Odette and I can’t wait for the aaaaaangst. Also Kasie always coming in clutch with the humor, I live for it. “No you right I got nothing” 🤣🤣

Once again, Nick forgot about his desk, it was short-lived wasn’t it? 😅

Now to another fun scene, and I feel like there’s a little double meaning to when Nick talks to Ellie about Phineas going through a lot this year, “more than most of us, which is saying a lot this year” - obviously covid but also maybe a callback to the kidnapping/jail cell stuff they dealt with?? Maybe?? Anyways, them being so awkward cute together because there’s a slight lull in the case so they revert back to their middle school selves, “so” “so…” I can’t with them omg. And then, and THEN of the two to bring it up, it’s Nick!!!! Yes!!! The GROWTH. This man used to be so emotionally closed off and now he, HE is bringing up The Talk™️ and he almost chickens out, he almost says haha you’re right we don’t have to have The Talk™️ after Ellie has a minor freakout because good god this girl is on *edge*. Her mind has probably been going a mile a minute the second she heard Jimmy call them out at the crime scene because she’s been living in blissful ignorance the past months/year whatever and now everything is smacking her in the face. But Nick, ugh I love the growth. He brushes it off and then has a moment where his face is like, no, no I’m not a wuss and he admits that yes he’s thought about it (the way he pauses when he says “not that it hasn’t been on my mind…us…” and I’m like yeah you two as a couple has been on your mind hasn’t it Nick 👀) and yes I want to have The Talk™️ with you Ellie Bishop. And not only does he admit this he’s also the one that’s like ok yeah cool BUT WHEN. Let’s nail this down please, I need it in my planner asap. And then she gets all giggly again “I don’t know when do *you* think?” Like omg I’m literally in middle school again. They’re so fucking cute and awkward it’s precious. Especially when they have to end their conversation and suddenly act normal when talking to McGee 😅😍 then they go separate ways and the look Ellie shoots Nick ahhhhhhh it’s almost like a let’s table this but also shit we really did half open that can of worms in the middle of a work day. Nick sighs and looks briefly to the sky like shit what did I do in a good way and bad way haha.

Back to Kasie with the ✨iconic✨ lines I love herrrr. Ellie being sus again with being resistant to change. I can’t decide if she’s not only talking about the possibility of dating Nick (once again defensive because Kasie about came for her throat hahahah) but also maybe about whatever is going to go down with Odette 👀👀

HERE WE ARE. THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. Back to being cute little awkward idiots in love that need to have The Talk™️. I mean come on they’re trying so hard to avoid the actual talk and just dancing around it “so” “so” “talk a roo” “talk a reeno” excuse me what the fuck are you saying just SAY IT. And Nick is still ready and rearing to go but also wants to respect Ellie and give her space if needed so he offers to just agree The Talk™️ needs to be had. And of course she counters with “need is a strong word” because damn this girl is spiraling. She’s so terrified of the outcome of this talk she wants to deny it needs to exist but still she can’t help it at the end of the day. And Nick is still like ok BUT WHEN. I WANT TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AFTER YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. SO LIKE WHEN ELLIE WHEN. And he once again plays off her deflection (a theme of this episode) with yeah yeah they’re super tired not at all wired just thinking about this talk that is at the tip of his tongue. At least Ellie is finally seeing the light and realizes that they should promise to have The Talk™️ but as she sits there staring at the elevator in front of her she’s like oh fuck, it can’t be soon can it. Fuck fuck fuck I can’t hold this in longer, we can’t keep dancing around it. fuck. So when Nick once again tries to press her to nail down a time she’s like well fuck it let’s do this shit now. Then she can’t realized that shit I actually said it, I actually said that. I said we should have The Talk™️ now. And Nick’s genuine surprise mirrors hers because she’s been the one half-denying The Talk™️ all day and now she wants to do this right here right now??? But at the same time he’s got a little smile to his face because he loves the idea of her being on board and finally getting this done. Finally getting to hear how she feels.

So they walk into the elevator with a MUCH better vibe than the last time they walked in all serious at night (looking at you dumb Nick with Elena) but I guess the Elena Elevator Talk walked so the Ellie Elevator Talk could run 👀

And Nick while yes he’s ready for this shit to finally happen he’s still vulnerable, still terrified of opening himself up because he’s seen his dad (recently) and how commitment and relationships run in the family 🙄 plus this is all very new to him outside of Sofia and this is definitely not new to Ellie (Jake, qasim). He needs to hear she’s all-in too, needs to know he hasn’t built something up in his head for something serious when she views it as just a flirtation between friends. So he nervously says ladies first and while Ellie gives him a look of protest and wtf man, I think deep down she knows this is all so difficult for him despite how much he’s pushed it over the course of the day plus SHE is ready to get this out in the open. The moment she decided to stop denying and spiraling she went full force head on let’s talk about us. She hedges for a second and Nick continues to be nervous as she’s clearly building up her own nerve. Then she says probably the exact same moment he’s thinking of- or at least one of them- the jail cell. The defining, triggering moment that set this thing at full speed. He can’t believe she’s really saying the words, about to hear what he hopes is his feeling of that jail cell reciprocated in her words and his head turns quickly to look at her, unable to believe his ears that what he’s been dying for all along is going to happen. The Talk™️ is happening and damn it seems like it’s happening in the right direction.

Of course we have no damn clue what was said and I’m jaded and don’t think they’ll ever tell us- RIP the note. BUT I’m so glad it actually happened (and the cinematographic parallels of course), a STEP towards canon!Ellick I’m fine.

Now to see where they take this from here in the last two episodes and I can only hope an angst filled canon!Ellick because duh.

#ellick #ncis #torres x bishop #wwr #hopefully laura doesn't hate me #also this may be less in depth than previous because i was rushing whoops 😬#18x14

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commander-yinello · 4 years ago

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Guardian (Jumin x Zen)

Happy Birthday @maniart1o9!!! For you, I wrote some JuminZen with one of your favorite themes (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I hope you will enjoy it! Read more under the cut ♥♥ ~_^

Word Count: 1945 Warnings: Mild swearing, smoking, references to a car accident

Jumin knows he’s seen him.

Even upside down, with the airbag so closely pressed to his chest that he couldn’t move, his vision spinning, and the overwhelming scent of gasoline making him dizzy, he sees Zen outside the front window. And he’s glowing, so bright his eyes water. Then, as someone pulls him out of the car, he’s gone.

That’s not possible, assistant Kang insists next to the hospital bed he’s sitting in, both waiting for the doctor to come back. Zen was nowhere near C&R International, and she only just warned the RFA 5 seconds ago of the crash. He could not have possibly arrived here that fast.

Ah. The crash. The car crash. The one Jumin was in because Driver Kim had his day off, and Jumin saw no issue driving to the client himself. The one where Jumin had to swerve to dodge another car cutting off his lane, and caused his own car to topple over and crash against a tree.

She’s right, Jumin thinks, there’s no way Zen could have been at the crash. Most likely stress from the crash, a concussion, his panicked imagination going in overdrive.

Yet, not a minute later, the doctor tells him he doesn’t even have a bruise. As if he never was in a car accident. That should not be possible, the doctor says, and assistant Kang is equally confused. Jumin however, is not.

He is certain now, he’s seen Zen.

And he has a suspicion why.

~~~~

Jumin Han:

Do you sometimes find yourself in places you weren’t before when you travel?

ZEN: Dude it’s 1 AM why are you messaging me

Also wtf are you going on about

Are you high???

Jumin Han: You still replied.

ZEN: Go to sleep and leave me alone, asshole

~~~~

He’s always wondered what was up about Zen. He knows about albinos, they often took great care of themselves when going outside, and sometimes had other health issues. Not Zen, who is so handsome, not that Jumin would admit it out loud. Who is so fit, he jogged daily. Who has no problem taking selfies in broad daylight with no sunscreen or sunglasses in sight. It had been only after Jumin made the last comment, a year ago, that Zen suddenly mentioned jogging at night, or an extensive skincare routine.

Back then, he stopped caring very quickly. It wasn’t any of his business, of course, what the narcissistic man did.

Now he cares again. He remembers how Zen had gotten into an accident, and V told him in full detail how Zen had healed insanely fast.

A handsome albino with super fast healing skills. How very strange, he tells Elizabeth, and she meows in agreement. He pets her while leaning an elbow on his mahogany desk, laptop showing a website of occult creatures.

Maybe he is a vampire. The ones in that one teenage movie sparkle. Which is not a glow, his brain reminds him. Plus the whole sun thing would still be an issue.

He entertains the sexy albino vampire idea a bit too long, before he realizes and cuts his thoughts off on purpose.

Maybe he is too paranoid. Maybe Zen is human. Zen’s allergy for cats seems real, at least. Even though Zen is an actor, Jumin thinks, he hides his emotions poorly.

And then Zen mentions that, sometimes, he has prophetic dreams.

Strange. Very, very strange.

Too many things don't add up for Zen to be human. And Jumin wants to know who he truly is - very much so.

~~~~

Jumin Han: Do you often glow?

ZEN: Of course I do, my beauty is radiant Blessed by the Gods themselves

Jumin Han: Gods. Interesting. Tell me all about them.

ZEN: What? What do you mean? You’re creeping me out Also why are you messaging me again what the hell

Jumin Han: You always reply to me.

ZEN: No I don’t, stupid jerk

Jumin Han: And yet you did it again.

ZEN: Argh! I can’t with you! Screw you!

~~~~

Zen is calling him a weirdo in the chat again. Jerk. Freak. The words have never mattered to him, but now Jumin wonders if it’s a smokescreen. He’s paid very close attention to all of the chatrooms with Zen in it, to the point it felt like stalking. It’s interesting how often Zen brings him up as a topic, even when it’s completely unnecessary.

He starts to understand why Luciel thinks Zen is obsessed with him. Perhaps because there is more than Zen shows.

But Zen denies everything he asks. He denies whatever screenshots Jumin sends him. He insults and denies and rants, and Jumin doesn't get any closer to the truth. At some point, Zen mentions that his behavior is akin to his older brother, but it comes over as an excuse to make Jumin shut up.

To the outside world, it seems that Zen truly despises him. Jumin is just not convinced.

There’s only a few things Jumin knows for sure. Zen was there when he crashed. And it had to be connected to the fact that Jumin came out of the crash completely unharmed. That’s it.

It drives him mad that he is denied more knowledge.

So he makes a decision. He tells assistant Kang to watch over Elizabeth. Heads down to the garage. Opens the car door. Takes a deep breath and wonders if he’s gone insane.

He gets behind the wheel again.

~~~~ Yoosung☆: Hi Zen!!

Jaehee Kang: Hello Zen, good to see you!

ZEN: Hey guys Where’s Jerkmin?

707: Lololol why do you ask~ Could it be.... You miss him??! (~˘▾˘)~

ZEN: What?! Of course not Why would you say that I’m glad he’s not around to spoil the mood! I just find it suspicious he’s not here

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han said he had something important to do Now I have c-fur on my suit again T_T

Yoosung☆: Poor Jaehee, hopefully you’ll be free soon - Zen has left the chatroom -

Yoosung☆: Ehhhh????

707: Zen suddenly leaving? Now that’s suspicious ರ_ರ

Jaehee Kang: I hope nothing happened to him. ~~~~

Jumin never crashes. The moment he turns on the engine, Zen is there, in front of the car lights, scaring the hell out of him. In a split second, the lamps in the garage flicker, and Jumin swears he sees a faint glowing outline of feathers behind Zen.

Zen is wearing his trademark turtleneck and holds a cigarette in his hand. He takes a drag and blows out the smoke, looking bored, as if he had been waiting.

“You're such a jerk, you know that?” Zen’s voice echoes in the large garage. They are alone. He hears nothing in the background, as if time stands still.

Jumin is too stunned to reply. Zen sighs, and walks to the side of the car, opens the door and takes his place in the passenger seat. He grabs the key from Jumin’s fingers and turns the engine off. The smell of tobacco and cologne fill Jumin’s nose, yet he doesn’t find the will to tell Zen not to smoke in his car.

“If me sitting here will stop you from killing yourself, then so be it,” Zen says, and takes another drag after closing the door.

Jumin realizes his hands still grip the wheel, and he slowly lowers them to his lap.

“What… what are you?” he asks.

“I can’t answer that. You already know way too much because I fucked up. Don't worry, nothing will happen to you,” Zen replies, and the smoke surrounding him makes him look more human.

“And to you?”

Zen looks out the open window instead. “It’s fine,” he finally replies.

That isn’t what he wants to hear. But if nothing would happen to him, then possibly Zen’s punishment wouldn’t be too severe.

Zen’s words do confirm other things - there is some higher power at work keeping Zen in check. And Zen did protect him, he’s sure of it now, from dying. So much so that Zen is in trouble for it.

“You protected me… too much. I should have had some damage,” Jumin says, inadvertently licking his lips. He’s nervous, because the bratty vain actor had been the one standing between life and death for him.

Zen runs a hand through his hair. Maybe Jumin is projecting, but he feels Zen is nervous too.

"I know that, trust fund. I just… couldn’t deal with… that." Zen waves his cigarette-free hand at the air in front of them, trying to stay as cryptic as possible.

He cares too much, Jumin instantly realizes. He watches Zen cross his legs - a defensive stance, Jumin notes - and wonders how much Zen has said in the chatroom is real.

“For someone like you, you aren’t exactly good at keeping it a secret.”

Zen chuckles. “You’d be surprised how much people accept. In fact, the stranger you seem, the less likely they suspect.”

Jumin hates to admit that it made sense. “Are you always fighting me because you have to distance yourself from me on purpose?”

“I can't answer that.”

Can't or shouldn't? Either way, Jumin is content with the answer. Yet, he can’t stop asking questions.

“Does everyone have… someone like you?”

“Not me specifically.”

Jumin makes a mental note to check all sun-loving albinos in the country. “Do you know who else is like you?”

Zen shook his head. “I know there are others. No idea who.”

“Sounds… lonely.”

“...It is.”

Jumin knows all about loneliness. He imagines Elizabeth on his lap, and sees the photo of V, Rika and him on his desk, and hears his father’s voicemail on his phone. So many days he’s convinced only Elizabeth would be there to catch him, when he comes home tired from work and falls down the abyss in his mind. Awful, lonely thoughts.

He wants to ask more. Menial questions like is Zen truly allergic, or deeper ones asking about the forces unknown. Jumin decides that he doesn’t want to push it.

“So… what now?”

“You,” Zen points at Jumin’s chest, “Will stop trying to drive, you menace. I actually like it here, so don’t make it worse.”

Jumin grins. “You like it here? Even with me?”

“Yeah, I know, must suck being guarded by someone you hate.” Zen rolls his eyes.

“I never hated you.”

Zen whips his head towards Jumin, eyes wide.

“Never. Not even when you tried your worst. And now, knowing it is you watching over me… It is a blessing. Thank you, Zen.”

He means it. There is a happy light feeling in his chest, knowing there’s a very logical reason for Zen to act so irrationally towards him. And he knows that he’ll have to act irrational back in order to keep up the facade, so Zen can stay.

He wants Zen to stay.

Zen blushes, and tries to hide it poorly by looking out of the window again. Jumin can’t help but find it endearing. “When you say things like that, people will think you’ve gone crazy.”

Jumin smirks. He doesn’t care what people think of him. Wasn’t there still that rumor of him floating around?

Zen flicks his cigarette stub away and sighs. “Well, I need to go. Take care.”

“Should I, when I have you?” Jumin sasses. It’s too close to flirting to be misconstrued otherwise.

“Wh- N- Whatever, just don’t drive!” he yells. His cheeks are redder, and Jumin notices before the car is filled with a bright light.

Once again, Zen is gone. A very typically Zen to do. Jumin smiles, and sits in the car for a while.

He still has no good excuse when Assistant Kang finally finds him there.

#juzen #juminzen #zumin #jumin x zen #mystic messenger #mysme #fanfiction #my fanfic #omg it's been too long since I wrote fanfic #pls forgive anything OOC #also I wanted this to be longer but no time T_T #why is real life so cruel #still it was v fun to write!#I love supernatural themes *_*#ty mani for ur talent and ideas <3

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cellsshapedlikestars · 3 years ago

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How was the bachie final?

starts in a half hour, anon! THREE WHOLE HOURS.

You know what, I'm not gonna post this now. Gonna keep this in my drafts and answer in THREE HOURS because ABC is sadistic and hates me. Maybe I'll type some things as I go, because constantly texting my bach bff isn't enough.

Pre show prediction: it’s Blake. It has to be. Who else is it gonna be? JUSTIN? Fuckin JUSTIN? Justin, who’s only there because two guys she liked better dropped out?

(More Bachelorette nonsense below the cut cause I just kept typing in between eating pie, writing the next chapter of my fic, and texting the bach bff, but I also know no one really cares and I won’t bombard you with it)

They’re doing a recap of the season, this is unnecessary, this could have been two hours, not three

Watching Katie blame herself for Greg being a fuckbag is rough but the previews of her yelling at him is making it bearable.

Ok don’t let my previous comment make it sound like Justin sucks, Justin actually seems really cool, he just came out of literally NOWHERE. I didn’t even remember his name until he was final 3. Bach bff and I have decided that if he wins, the show would finally earn it’s “most dramatic season ever” boast.

Why is Tayshia so pretty. It’s unreal. I just want to look at her forever.

SHE BROKE THE I LOVE YOU RULE

How do we still have two hours? She just told Blake she loves him?? After saying she wasn’t going to tell anyone she loved them??? How DO WE STILL HAVE TWO HOURS LEFT.

Poor Justin. Yikeroos.

Man I really do have a kink for men crying. GIVE ME YOUR TEARS. GIVE ME YOUR FEELINGS.

This montage of Justin faces has me SCREAMING. I love him now. But Andrew! Andrew for Bachelor! I can’t lose focus! Justin can go on Paradise and find love there. He deserves it, poor bby.

This is boring now. We still have an hour and a half. I am dying.

omg this AUNT. I mean, she’s not wrong. but this is rough. ROUGH. I had to mute.

Ok I’ve changed my mind, this aunt is a bitch. I’m sorry, but she’s downright mean and rude to Blake. There’s a way to say the things she means without being horrible about it.

He’s handling this better than I would holy shit. If I were Blake I’d run tf away.

Wait there’s still an hour and twenty six minutes left.

(I found ants in my living room and missed the entire next section, whoops, but bach bff describes it as “what the fuck is this nightmare thing”)

(and now the cat keeps finding and trying to play with the bait traps I just put out does anyone want a cat? cat for sale.)

This proposal scene. It’s so windy lmao.

LOVING Tayshia’s suit. Sparkly. Black. Opened backed. Long sleeved. In the desert. How she’s not dying, I’ll never know. What a power move.

I’m bored at the proposal and there’s still an hour left. I’ve moved upstairs to watch on my laptop in bed and I’ve taken my contacts out.

Lmao, the money shot of that Neil Lane ring with his name dead center

They seem happy, I hope these crazy kids make it.

Oh good, greg’s here. He’s smiling and he does not seem to realize that this isn’t going to go well for him, if the previews are to be believed.

A CLEAR DISCONNECT, GREG? THAT DISCONNECT WAS YOU NOT LISTENING TO A SINGLE THING SHE SAID AND EXPECTING HER TO HAVE THE EXACT EMOTIONAL RESPONSE THAT *YOU* WANTED AFTER KNOWING HER FOR SIX WEEKS AND THEN COMPLETELY MAKING HER FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR BEING THE BACHELORETTE LIKE THIS IS THE SHOW YOU SIGNED UP FOR DEAL WITH IT

oof, ok sorry, watching women get emotionally manipulated on TV makes me HOT under the collar

“you found what you were looking for” does not excuse your shit GREG

katie GO OFF. Also those two ladies in the audience, I’m dying. I wish I could go back and screenshot their faces.

Is this gonna be the next half hour? Please get greg off my screen.

Ok, I had a WHOLE rant about greg and katie and twitter that I deleted, but I guess my point is: this is why I don’t go on twitter and somehow this show always ends up pissing me off.

BUT PARADISE!

#ask #anon #bachelor #also i'm trying really hard to tag all my posts appropriately so that people can block them #so feel free to block bachelor #or reality tv #or bachelor au #or onlyfans au #they're the most recent ones i've been tagging a lot #also i hate myself for this commentary lmao #but whatever #you should all know who i am by now

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vsquadgoals · 5 years ago

Text

Settling Down (J.W) Part Two

It was around 2am when Jeff heard Alethea crying causing Milena to sleepily climb out of bed and go into the nursery to feed her. He rubbed his eyes and yawned unable to fall back asleep until she climbed back into bed about 20 minutes later. “Sorry.” She whispered cuddling into him, Jeff shook his head and wrapped his arms around her tightly holding her close. “Don’t be sorry baby.” He whispers into her hair both of them drifting back to sleep quickly. The next time Jeff heard Alethea was at 5am, he slipped out of bed careful not to wake Milena, he made his way into the nursery and scooped Alethea from her crib sitting in the rocking chair with her. Jeff rocked her slowly calming her as soon as he picked her up, once she was totally calm he decided she probably needed a new diaper, Jeff at this point was grateful that he had a niece and knew how to do this. After a few minutes Jeff sat in the rocking chair again with a now clean and fresh baby girl. He rocked her slowly putting her on his chest, he leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes rubbing circles on Alethea’s back. It wasn’t long before Jeff noticed she was finally back asleep, he waited a few more minutes to be sure before putting her back into her crib and returning to Milena’s bedroom. He climbed into bed carefully but unfortunately woke Milena who looked at him confused. “Is she crying?” She asks worried that she didn’t hear her daughter starting to sit up. Jeff shook his head and pulled her back onto the bed. “No, I changed her and then put her back to sleep, she’s okay.” Jeff reassured his exhausted girlfriend. Milena’s eyes got wide and she fought back tears. “You didn’t have to do that Jeff.” She says her voice cracking a little, Jeff smiles and pulls her into him again. “I know, but I wanted to. Now go back to sleep my love.” Milena pecks a few kisses on his lips before they fall back asleep again.

Since that first time Jeff slept over, he was addicted to sleeping next to her and wanted to do it every night. Jeff slept over as often as he could sometimes bringing Nerf who Alethea and Milena both loved. Jeff couldn’t get enough of his two girls; he was constantly taking pictures of Milena and Alethea usually posting them on his private story which his family and friends found to be the cutest thing. Milena and Alethea had brought out a different side of Jeff, a sweeter more loving side, having the two of them in his life had definitely calmed him down and made him much happier. Jeff’s fans have even started to notice in his videos, they also noticed Jeff looking off camera at someone with so much love in his eyes, both in his videos and his friends, they were dying to know who he was dating. Fans started noticing Milena and Alethea in the background of the group's videos, sometimes Milena and Alethea would also make an appearance in David’s vlogs, Carly and Erin also vlogged with her when the girls all went to starbucks together and did a taste testing video, Heath had also put Milena and Alethea in one of his videos when she had gone over to visit so that him and Mariah could see Alethea and spend time with her since they were so obsessed with her. Milena loved being around the group she had so much fun with them and they all loved having her and Alethea around. It was in Carly and Erin’s vlog where they all went to starbucks where fans started getting suspicious, while Erin was filming Carly giving drinks to their friends at David’s at the bottom of the screen you could see Jeff staring in the direction of where Milena had sat and his eyes didn’t leave her direction for a long time and they were full of love. Of course, these were just speculations from fans because you couldn’t see if he was actually looking at her. This didn’t stop them from screenshotting the video and tagging them in it on twitter shipping the two of them.

Milena also made quite a few of appearances on everyone’s social media stories, they were either posting pictures of her and Alethea or just Alethea while they were all out and about or even just lounging around someone’s house. Milena had also posted a few of them on her stories as well, holding Alethea or just hanging out, it was very clear to all of their fans that they were all friend’s and no one could figure out how she got introduced into their group.

Milena was hanging out at David’s with everyone and they were all sitting in the living room, Jeff had gone with Todd to pick up food for everyone, Alethea was laying in her doc a tot on the couch asleep next to Milena. “Have you seen the tweets?” Natalie asks Milena pulling her attention away from the sleeping baby. Milena nods and shrugs. “Yeah, not much we can do right?” Natalie nods “What’s keeping you guys from coming out about your relationship? I mean we can all see that this is the long hall for you guys.” Milena smiles at her, it was nice to hear that everyone could see how much her and Jeff loved each other already, even if they hadn’t said it yet. “I think I’m just scared honestly, it’s so much harder since I have Alethea. It makes people ask a lot of questions and some of them I don’t think I wanna answer.” Milena admits honestly, Natalie looks at her and sighs. “It’s unfair, Jeff is so good with her and they are like obsessed with each other, it’s just not fair that people would judge you guys and make a big deal that Alethea isn’t his.” Mariah says adding to you and Natalie’s conversation. Milena nods and sighs frowning a little. “I know. That’s what I’m scared of honestly. Jeff is so amazing with her and I honestly could cry just thinking about it, I mean her own father didn’t want anything to do with her so the fact that Jeff and her connected as soon as they saw each other makes me so happy. He loves her so much and helps me so much with her. I just know that this isn’t how everyone will see it, sometimes people just judge immediately.” Mariah leans over and wraps her arms around Milena hugging her tight. “I know, we just feel so bad that you guys have to hide it. I mean Jeff practically lives with you, he’s there every day and night.” Natalie says from across the room frowning a little at Milena. Milena shrugs “I think we’ll do it soon just because it’s getting way too hard to keep it a secret especially for you guys and everyone else’s videos, everyone has be careful what they film and say and that’s not fair. It’s also getting harder for me to vlog cause like you said Jeff is always with us now so it’s hard to vlog and not get him in the videos.” Before they could say anything else Jeff and Todd are coming into David’s their arms full of bags of food. Jeff puts the bags down in the kitchen before heading over to Milena and kissing her head. “Hi mama.” He mumbles into her hair. “Speak of the devil.” She says smiling up at him. Jeff looks down at a peacefully sleeping Alethea and smiles wide taking out his phone and taking a picture of her. “God she’s so beautiful.” He says before leaning down and kissing her head.

Jeff walks back into the kitchen on his phone posting the picture of Alethea on his story writing ‘Angel’ with a heart and tagging Milena.

He puts his phone back into his pocket before rummaging through the bag looking for his and Milena’s order. Everyone sits with each other and eating everyone talking and goofing around, some people on their phones. Thankfully Alethea doesn’t start fussing until they’re Milena is done eating. “Oh your turn.” She says as she picks up a hungry Alethea, she grabs her coverup and stands. “I’ll be back guys.” She says before going into David’s bedroom, he always let her feed Alethea in there, so she had a little privacy. Milena put the cover up around her neck sitting in the lovesac so she can look out at his view while she fed her. She cradles Alethea and starts feeding her relaxing into the giant bean bag.

Jeff is bullshitting with Todd when Heath interrupts the two of them, “Jeff, you know everyone’s blowing up over the picture you posted of Alethea on your story right?” Jeff looks at Heath and shrugs, “Whatever. I’m so tired of keeping this a secret. I love them so much and I can’t pretend that I'm just friends with her anymore.” Mariah and Natalie smile at each other before looking at Jeff. “We literally just had this conversation with Milena before you got here. She pretty much said the same thing, she’s really scared how the fans are going to react since Milena’s a mom and Alethea’s not your baby.” Natalie tells him, Jeff sighs. “I get up in the middle of the night with her and help Milena with her, I may not be her dad, but I do help take care of her and I love her as if she was my daughter. I would die for her.” Jeff tells his friends running his fingers through his hair frustrated. His friends all nod. “Milena knows how much you love them; she was telling us how grateful she is for you.” David adds looking up from his laptop where he’s editing the vlog. “Clearly you two know what the negative comments could be, so you’re prepared, but you both are tired of hiding it.” Todd says patting Jeff on his shoulder, Jeff smiles at his friends and thanks them.

Jeff peaks his head into David’s bedroom. “Can I come in?” He asks Milena who is still feeding the baby while she lays sleepily looking out the windows. Milena looks over her shoulder at Jeff and smiles nodding. Jeff walks in closing the door behind him, he places the diaper bag on the bed. “I figured you would need this after.” She smiles happily at him. “Thank you love.” Jeff sits on the floor leaning against the window so he can look at Milena. Jeff chews nervously on his lips before he speaks. “I think we should go public.” He says finally watching Milena closely trying to see her reaction. She looks over at him and bites her lip. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?” She asks nervously. Jeff nods and smiles at her. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life. I need everyone to know how much I love you and Alethea, plus I don’t want to hide it anymore.” Milena smiles wide at him. She holds Alethea close to her before leaning forward and kissing Jeff hard on his lips. Jeff kisses her back and smiles against her lips. “So, I guess that means you feel the same way?” he asks chuckling. Milena giggles and nods before leaning back into the lovesac. “Of course I do, the moment you showed interest in Alethea I was hooked.” She admits looking at Jeff who’s smiling from ear to ear.

Milena is burping Alethea and Jeff is handing her a clean diaper and wipes when David knocks on the door. “Are you guys okay?” He asks covering his eyes standing in the doorway. Jeff chuckles and shakes his head. “You can come in Dave; she’s just changing her diaper now.” David nods and uncovers his eyes walking into his bedroom, he sits on the bed next to Jeff. “You guys okay?” He asks and Milena looks over at him and nods smiling. “Yeah we’re great. We’re going to go public, its time.” She updates him and David smiles wide. “Thank god! Oh, that’s awesome.” David pats Jeff on the shoulder. “I’m glad you found someone man.” He says to Jeff causing him to smile. “Thanks dude.” Milena smiles and hands Alethea to Jeff who was waiting to take her from his girlfriend. Milena cleans up her stuff putting everything back into Alethea’s diaper bag. David rubs his finger over Alethea’s cheek and smiles. “Also, we love having these two around.” he says to Jeff, Milena smiles and hugs David. “Thank you, guys, for excepting us, we love you guys.”

The rest of the night is uneventful, the group plans to go to Saddle ranch to hangout and have some drinks. Milena is saying goodbye to everyone and packing up Alethea’s things while her friends passed her around giving her cuddles before they left. Jeff helped her bring everything to the car while they all said their goodbyes to her daughter. “Are you sure don’t mind me going?” Jeff asks starting her car for her. Milena wrapped her arms around his neck and pecked his lips softly. “Go have fun baby. We will be just fine at home. You have a key so if you want to come over when you leave you are always welcome to. Nerf is already at my place so you have fun.” Jeff shakes his head smiling and leans his forehead against hers. “You’re incredible.” He pecks her lips before they head back into David’s house so she can collect her little girl. Milena took Alethea from David’s arms and said her finally goodbyes to her friends. Jeff followed her to the car and kisses Alethea what felt like a million times on her cheeks before Milena put her into her car seat and closing the car door.

Jeff opened Milena’s door for her before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her hard on her lips. Milena wraps her arms around his neck and kissed him harder running her fingers through his hair. Jeff groans against her lips as his hands slowly moving to grip her ass. Milena pulls away and bites her lip. “Go have fun.” she whispers before pecking his lips a few times. Jeff nods and kisses her neck a few times before pulling away and letting her climb into the car. He closes her door once she rolls the window down. “Hey, I’ll text you when I’m leaving and let you know when I'm on my way to you okay?” He kisses her cheek and she nods. “I love you.” Jeff says tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Milena blushes a little and leans into his touch. “I love you Jeff. Now go have fun with your friends.” Jeff nods and waves to her before heading back into David’s house.

When Milena got home, she was greeted with a very excited Nerf. Alethea thankfully stayed up through the car ride. Milena put Alethea into her swing and went into the bathroom turning on the bath making sure the temperature would be okay for the baby. She leaned down and pet Nerf who was sitting at her feet. “Hi bubba. Did you miss us?” She shut off the water once it was high enough and put Alethea’s baby tub into the warm water. While the baby was calm in her swing, she gathered Alethea’s clean diaper and pajamas putting them on the couch. Milena undressed Alethea on the couch to make it easier and bring her to the bathroom laying her in her tube. Nerf laid right next to Milena’s legs while she bathed her daughter. Milena giggles and take a picture of Nerf and sends it to Jeff but also posts it on her story tagging Jeff.

After bathing and dressing Alethea Milena feeds her for a few minutes even though she isn’t super hungry she wants her to have a full belly before she puts her to sleep. Milena puts Alethea in her stroller and covers her with a blanket, she changes into a hoodie and leggings and a pair of sneakers before putting Nerf’s harness on him and attaching his leash. She wanted to make sure he went out and went to the bathroom before she got into bed and Alethea fell asleep. Nerf happily walked next to Milena was she pushes Alethea in the stroller, they made their way down the elevator and out the front door of her apartment walking down the street. It was a nice slow walk as she let Nerf sniff around the sidewalk. It wasn’t long before Alethea was fast asleep in her stroller sucking on her pacifier. They were circling around her block when Jeff called her.

“Hi handsome.” She coos when she answers the phone. Jeff smirks to himself. “Hi mama. I’m headed your way.” He tells her and she can hear the faint sound of him driving. “Already?” She asks as she stops waiting for Nerf to do his business. “Good boy Nerfy.” Milena coos causing Jeff to chuckle. “Yeah, David got the footage he needed, and he was tired of listening to me complain about not being with you three, so he told me to leave.” Milena giggles and starts walking again. “Jeff, I told you to go have fun.” She says causing him to chuckle. “Are you outside?” He asks her confused when he hears cars passing in the distance. “Yeah I wanted to take Nerf out to go to the bathroom before I put Alethea to sleep so we’re taking a nice walk after Alethea’s bath and she’s now fast asleep and Nerf has done his business.” Jeff shakes his head. “I don’t like you being out by yourself.” He tells her causing her to shake her head. “Baby, I’m okay. We’re walking back into the building now.” “I just don’t want anything to happen to you. But I am about two minutes away so I will see you soon.” Milena smiles waiting in the lobby not wanting to lose service in the elevator. “I appreciate that baby. I’ll see you soon.” Jeff hangs up and Milena heads into the elevator and leans down petting Nerf who’s at her feet as always. “Did you enjoy your walk my love.” She coos at him scratching behind his ears.

Once inside her apartment again she removes Nerfs harness and washes her hands before picking up Alethea carefully and bringing her to her nursery and putting her into her crib putting the blanket on her rocking chair and turning on the sound machine and baby monitor. When Nerf was at the apartment she closed her nursey door just to keep him out of the room, but this didn’t stop him from sleeping right outside her door. Milena changed into a t shirt and a pair of pajama shorts before she started cleaning up the apartment a little, since having Jeff around she had less free time to clean plus she spent a lot of time with their friends. She cleans the living room and is finishing up the kitchen when Jeff walks into the apartment. She’s organizing her pantry and putting away the clean dishes from the dishwasher before reloading it. Jeff scratches behind Nerfs eat greeting the happy boy before following the sounds of dishes in the kitchen. “What are you doing?” Jeff asks walking into the kitchen, Milena looks up at him and smiles. “Just getting some chores done. You’re a bit distracting so I’ve fallen behind on some stuff.” She teases starting the dishwasher and walking over to her boyfriend wrapping her arms around his neck. Jeff rolls his eyes and wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her body against his. “You’re pretty distracting yourself, have you looked in the mirror lately? You’re fucking gorgeous.” Milena’s cheeks blush and she nuzzles her face into his neck trying to hide her blushing cheeks. Jeff chuckles and kisses her head. “Let’s go to sleep.” he says into her hair.

Jeff wakes up in the middle of the night around 3am and notices that Milena isn’t in bed, it wasn’t the usual time for Alethea to wake up so he stretched his limbs before getting out of bed and heading to check on her. Jeff saw the nursey door open, so he peaked his head in to see Milena in the rocking chair feeding Alethea with her head back and eyes closed, Nerf was cuddled in her lap underneath Alethea’s butt. Jeff entered the room with a wide smile on his face, Milena looks up at him and gives her a tired smile. “Hi.” she whispers, Jeff kisses her forehead and smiles. “Hi baby. Is she okay?” He asks noticing Alethea was wide awake with tear stained cheeks while she ate. Milena sighs and shrugs. “I don’t know. She won’t sleep, she’s been up twice before this.” he could see how exhausted his girlfriend was making him frown. Once Alethea noticed Jeff in the room she stopped eating and was staring up at him. Jeff smiles at the little girl and knees down so that he’s at her level sitting on the floor in front of Milena. “Hi Angel.” He says keeping his voice low, he rubs his finger over her cheek. “What are you doing to your mommy?” He looks up at Milena who’s struggling to keep her eyes open while she watches Jeff talk to Alethea. Jeff moves Nerf off of her lap and takes Alethea from her arms as he stands again. “Go sleep baby.” he tells her pulling her from the rocking chair. Milena tries to fight him feeling back leaving him with Alethea, but Jeff puts his hand up to stop her from trying to say anything. “Go. I’ve got her, we’ll be just fine, she has a nice full belly.” Jeff says before kissing his girlfriend and guiding her out to of the nursey before closing the door behind her.

Milena climbed into bed Nerf following her snuggling with her in the bed, she fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Jeff changed Alethea’s diaper and gave her a pacifier before he sat back in the rocking chair and held her against his chest rocking her slowly. Alethea always cuddled right into Jeff’s chest and nuzzled her face into his beard, it isn’t long before she’s fast asleep and Jeff moves her into her crib. Normally Jeff would go back into Milena’s bed but since Alethea was having such a hard time staying asleep tonight instead Jeff laid on the floor using the lovesac that Milena had in the nursery as a pillow and covered himself with a blanket falling asleep pretty quickly. Jeff got up two more times with Alethea which he would give her a pacifier again, rock her in the rocking chair until she was asleep and put her back into the crib and return to his make shift bed on the floor next to her crib. It was around 9am when Milena woke up, she noticed Jeff still wasn’t in bed which she thought was weird. She climbed out of bed and made her way to her daughter’s nursery; she cracked the door quietly and peaked in seeing Jeff asleep on the floor and Alethea fast asleep in her crib. Milena smiled wide and closed the door again but not before taking a quick picture, it was too cute not to.

Milena was in the kitchen cooking breakfast for her and Jeff when Jeff came in holding a very happy Alethea who was tugging on what she could grasp of his facial hair before nuzzling her face into it. “Perfect timing.” Milena says smiling widely at Jeff. She pecks him on the lips, “Thank you for last night. You really didn’t have to do that.” Jeff shakes his head and holds Alethea tighter. “I know but I wanted too.” Milena smiles and puts two plates with eggs, home fries, and bacon on the table. “Well I made you breakfast to try and thank you.” Jeff smiles and kisses his girlfriend. “Thank you, baby. It smells amazing.” Milena took Alethea from him and kissed her cheeks. “Good morning, you’re lucky I love you, you little pain in the butt.” She says giggling and putting Alethea in her baby swing next to the table so that they both could eat their breakfast. While they ate breakfast they talked, they talked about if they wanted to post a video or if they were going to just announce it on social media. They decided that they would make a post on social media and then Milena would do a Q&A for her channel. Milena knows just the picture she wants to post of her and Jeff, she takes out her phone and sends a quick text to Mariah asking her to send her the picture she took. When Milena and Jeff were at Heath’s house visiting him and Mariah, Mariah had taken a picture of Milena and Jeff sitting on the couch both looking at Alethea with loving eyes.

It was now 11:30 and Alethea was napping, Jeff and Milena were lounging on the couch and they both had already made their announcement on their social medias and they were getting amazing feedback from their fans. They were sitting on the couch watching a movie and Milena’s nails were running up and down the back of Jeff’s neck slowly and Jeff’s hand was on her thigh rubbing the bare skin slowly with his thumb. Milena was chewing the inside of her lip trying to ignore the throbbing between her legs. Jeff smirked what Milena started squirming, “You okay baby?” He asks looking over at her. She nods and blushes a little when she looks at Jeff who has a wide smirk on his face. She turns her attention back to the tv and Jeff leans over and kissing from her shoulder to her neck sucking gently causing a small whimper to leave her lips. Jeff smiles against her skin continuing to kiss and suck her neck while he squeezes her thigh. “Is this okay?” He whispers slowly moving his hand higher up her thigh. Milena nods and looks at Jeff. “Just be gentle please, it’s been a really long time.” She whispers, Jeff cups her cheek and kisses her softly on the lips. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Milena smiles again his lips before she moves so that she is straddling Jeff’s lap and wraps her arms around his neck. “I want to, so bad. Like more then you know. I’m just warning you; it’s been a long time so just be gentle please.” Jeff smirks and puts his hand on the back of her head tangling his fingers in her hair and kisses her hard his other arm wraps around her waist pulling her chest against his.

Jeff stood and carried Milena to her bedroom his hands holding her ass firmly. Jeff gently places her on the bed and climbs on top of her kissing her passionately. Milena wraps her arms around his neck again deepening the kiss running her tongue along his bottom lip causing Jeff to allow her tongue entrance and they tongues wrestled for dominance. Jeff slid his hands up her shirt detaching their lips to pull it off over her head, he slowly kissed down her neck sucking softly leaving small marks and causing Milena to moan softly. Jeff made his way down her body kissing and nibbling every once and a while, he kissed along the waist band of her shorts sending shivers over her body. Milena looked down at Jeff biting her lip as he pulls off her shorts and panties, he kisses the inside of her thighs humming happily when he sees how wet her core is. “mmm... this wet just for me?” He says before slowly licking between her folds causing Milena’s hands to go right to his hair as she tries to hold back a moan. Jeff wraps his arms around her thighs before burying his face between her legs and sucking on her clit. Milena is a moaning mess under Jeff, her fingers tangle in his hair causing Jeff to smirk before slipping a finger into her slowly making her gasp. “Fuck Jeff.” She moans as he pumps his finger in and out before adding another stretching her out a little. Milena looks down at Jeff through hooded eyes biting her lip, Jeff kisses her thighs looking into her eyes while pumping his fingers in and out. She moans and her eyes roll into the back of her head. “Feel good baby?” Jeff asks his voice deep while he nibbles on her thighs. Milena looks down at Jeff and nods trying not to moan too loud. “It feels so good.” She wines rolling her hips against his fingers.

Milena tugs on the collar of Jeff’s shirt bringing him up to her, she kisses him hard on the lips before pulling his shirt off over his head and throwing it onto the floor. Jeff looks down at Milena and bites his lip. “Fuck you’re so beautiful Milena.” He whispers causing her to blush and look up at her boyfriend, she puts her hand on the back of his neck pulling his lips to hers. Milena reaches down and pushes down Jeff’s shorts and boxers before biting his lip pulling it causing him to groan. Jeff strokes himself a few times before rubbing the tip against her clit making her squirm. “Please Jeff.” She moans rolling her hips up against him trying to get some relief. Jeff smirks and continues to tease her clip with his tip. “What? What do you want babygirl?” He asks loving watching her squirm. Milena’s eyes roll back, and she moans. “I want you to fill me up.” She wines looking back at her boyfriend her lips red and swollen from her biting them and kissing him. Jeff bites his lip, he could cum from looking at her beg him alone. “Anything for you babygirl.” He says pecking her lips before he lines himself up with her entrance, he slips into her very slowly groaning. “Fuck you’re so tight.” he moans but doesn’t move yet, he stays still for a while letting her adjust. Milena nods to Jeff giving him the okay to move. Jeff attaches his lips to hers slowly thrusting in and out of her both of them moaning into each other's mouths. Milena wrapped her arms around Jeff’s torso holding him close while he picked up the pace his hips slamming into hers.

Milena’s nails were scratching down Jeff’s back throwing her head back and moaning his name, she was so tight, and he was so big it was almost throwing her over the edge. Jeff could tell she was getting close and he was too, she was so tight it was getting hard for him to keep it together. Jeff reaches down and circles her clit with his thumb and thrusts harder. Milena’s hand slaps over her mouth trying to muffle her moans causing Jeff to smirk, he moves her hand replacing it with his lips. “I’m gonna cum, Jeff.” She whispers against his lips this makes Jeff thrust into her faster. “Cum for me.” He moans attacking her lips again with his and just like that she was moaning against his lips and she was cumming and he was right with her feeling her tighten around him even more he couldn’t hold back anymore and he was cumming inside of her. Jeff leans his forehead against hers breathing heavily, Milena smiles and pecks his lips a few times trying to catch her breath as well. “Can you listen for Alethea? I just want to take a shower really fast.” She asks Jeff her voice soft and sleepy. Jeff smiles and kisses her lips. “Of course my love.”

While Milena is in the shower Jeff cleans up the living room for her and feeds Nerf who he had to force out of Milena’s bathroom. Nerf was obsessed with Milena and Alethea and was always trailing behind his girlfriend or lying next to Alethea. About 10 minutes into Milena’s shower Jeff could hear Alethea fussing which caused Nerf’s ears to perk up and him to rush to her nursey door. Jeff chuckled and shook his head going to get to baby, “Hi Angel, did you have a good nap?” he says once he opens the door and turns off her sound machine. He picks her up and kisses her cheeks clipping her pacifier to her shirt and lays her on her changing table, he talks to her in a soft voice while he changes her diaper, she looks up at him never looking away since he picked her up from her crib. Jeff loved her so much for only being in her life for such a short amount of time, he felt the connection they had as soon as he held her for the first time, and everyone could also see it.

*3 months later*

Milena and Jeff have now been dating for about 4 months and sure their relationship was moving fast but they were so happy together and truly in love, Jeff treated Milena like a queen and Alethea like a little princess. They were currently preparing to leave LA to go to NY so that Jeff’s family could finally meet Milena and Alethea, they had talked on facetime and everything, but Jeff’s mom was dying to hug Milena and snuggle little Alethea who was now 5 months old. They’re flight was at 9pm which was perfect because Alethea would sleep hopefully the whole flight and she would probably be waking up around the time that they were landing. Milena was at her apartment packing for the two of them and Jeff was at his place packing for himself and getting Nerf’s stuff together for Oscar to watch him for the 4 days that they were staying in NY. Alethea was currently laying on a blanket on the floor of her nursery doing tummy time while Milena packed things, she had to write a list of things she would need or else she would forget something. Milena had her phone set up in front of Alethea and Jeff was on facetime talking to her, he had spent the last few days at his apartment prefilming some videos so that while they were in NY he could spend time with them and his family and not have to worry about videos. “How the packing coming mama?” Jeff asks causing Milena to groan. “Not too bad, just so much stuff I have to bring. Can you tell Karyn I said thank you again for letting us use her playpen for Alethea to sleep in. That’s a huge help.” Jeff chuckles. “I’ll let her know baby. Have you packed for yourself yet?” He asks as he puts the last of his things into his suitcase and sipping it up. Milena nods even though she knows that he can’t see her. “Thankfully yes. My stuff is all done, I’m just finishing her outfits and then I'll be one cause I already have her diaper bag all set.” Jeff hums happily. “Good job mama. So, I’m gonna go bring Nerf to Oscar and then I figured we would go get dinner before we go to the airport?” Alethea babbles staring at Jeff on the phone screen while the two of them talk which causes Jeff to chuckle, Milena comes into frame and kisses Alethea’s cheek. “Yes, that sounds perfect, I’m already getting hungry, so it’ll be good timing.”

It was about an hour later when Jeff finally walked into Milena’s apartment, he didn’t see her around, so he assumed she was still in Alethea’s room. Once he rounded the corner and entered the room Alethea saw him before Milena and she squealed happily causing Jeff to chuckle. “Hello to you to Angel.” He said before leaning down to kiss Milena’s forehead before picking up Alethea who was smiling widely. “Well someone is excited to see you.” Milena said giggling as she closed the suitcase she finally finished. “Good cause the feeling is mutual. I missed you guys.” Jeff said as he nuzzled his face into Alethea’s chest causing her to giggle, Milena brought the suitcase out to the living room next to Alethea’s diaper bag. She was only bringing one large suitcase that she planned to check and Alethea’s diaper bag, she just put hers and Alethea’s stuff together since they weren’t staying for too long. Jeff followed her out to the living room and shook his head. “Are you almost ready?” Jeff asks her while Alethea sits on his hip holding onto his shirt and cuddling into him. “Yeah I just have to get the body wrap that I have to carry her through the airport, and I think that’s it.” She said before chewing her lip running through her list in her mind. “If you forget anything, we can get it while we’re in NY or the airport.” Jeff reassures her before kissing her head. “I’ll go pick up her room while you get your last-minute stuff okay?” Milena nods and smiles at him. “Thank you, baby.” She says before going into her room to gets her stuff together. Jeff goes into the nursery and picks up the blanket on the floor folding it and putting it into the basket Milena had in the corner full of blankets. He looked around the room to make sure nothing else needed to be picked up before he laid Alethea on the changing table and changed her diaper so she would be nice and clean while they had dinner.

Jeff carries Milena’s suitcase down to his car while she follows behind him with Alethea in her car seat, thankfully a company called Doona car seat that opens into a stroller. She was absolutely in love with it and so grateful, it helped with times like this when she was traveling or when she’s alone. Jeff put the suitcase in the trunk along with his before climbing into the driver seat. Jeff had bought his own mirror so that when they were in his car so, he could see Alethea and she could see him, it made her way happier while in the car. They drove to the restaurant in a comfortable silence with the music playing softly, Jeff’s right hand was intertwined with Milena’s while he drove as always. Dinner went smoothly and they were on their way to the airport. Milena was starting to get a little nervous, it was the first time Alethea was going on a plane and she was meeting Jeff’s family for the first time, it was very scary for her. Jeff noticed her sudden change in body language, her was chewing on her lip and her leg was shaking. “Hey-” He said rubbing her thigh. “What’s on your mind?” he sees her snap out of her thoughts and turn to look at him. “Just a little nervous.” She admits, her other leg bouncing now. Jeff takes her hand in his and brings it to his lips kissing it softly. “Don’t be nervous mama, I’m here if you need any help with Alethea on the plane, and my family loves you so much already there is nothing to worry about.” He kisses her hand again before placing it back on her lap. “Our situation is just so hard for people to understand sometimes so I just get nervous.” Jeff nods and glances over at her before looking back at the road as they pulled into the parking garage of the airport. “I understand, but we love each other and that’s all the matters.” Milena leans over and kisses his cheek smiling. “I love you.” She whispers against his cheek before sitting back in her seat while he finds a parking spot. “I love you too.”

Once they’re parked Milena is jumping out of the car to unload Alethea’s car seat and popping out the wheels turning it into a stroller, she wasn’t planning on keeping her in the car seat because they had to check it anyway. So, instead she was going to carry her with a body wrap that Alethea was in love with. She wrapped the body wrap around her before taking Alethea out of the car seat and putting her into the body wrap with her head against Melina’s chest. Milena took her suitcase from Jeff putting the diaper bag on top of it and Jeff closed the stroller carrying it instead to make the checking process faster. Once they were out of the parking garage and before they went into the airport Jeff stops her, “Baby, smile.” He says holding up his phone, she stops and smiles widely at Jeff while he takes a picture. “Sorry you look so beautiful I had to.” Jeff says smirking at her before they head into the airport.

It was a long 6-hour flight to NY, but Alethea did amazing, she slept almost the whole time which left her, and Jeff also get some sleep. While they were landing Milena breast fed Alethea which made the landing and takeoff much easier. Jeff was packing all of their stuff that they had spread out over their three seats during the flight. Once they were landed Jeff took out his phone and texted his sister letting her know that they have landed and to head toward the airport, she was nice enough to pick them up and bring them to his parent’s house. Alethea was apparently starving because when Milena tried to take her off the boob, she was not happy, so Milena had to feed her while they got off of the plane. Jeff held the diaper bag and rolled his suitcase next to him. “You okay mama?” He asks looking over at her as they make their way to baggage claim. Milena nods and smiles at him. “Just a little nervous, plus I don’t love feeding her in public, people usually give me shit.” She says chewing her lip nervously, she was glad to have a cover over her to cover herself. Milena of course would feed Alethea wherever she was whenever she was hungry, but she had been given a lot of dirty looks in the past for it. Jeff shook his head. “I’ll kick their ass if anyone wants to say anything.” He says causing Milena to giggle and looking at him lovingly. “I know, that’s another reason I love you.” As soon as they had all their stuff from the baggage claim the switched a now full Alethea from her mom’s arms and into her car seat. Milena made sure to cover herself before she removed the cover up and putting it into the diaper bag, Alethea was now falling asleep in the car seat. Milena looks at Jeff and bites her lip. “Welp, here goes nothing.” She says to Jeff, Jeff kisses her and smiles. “Let’s do this baby.” he says before the head out of the airport and waiting outside for Karyn to pick them up.

#Jeff Wittek #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek fanfic #jeff wittek smut #jeff wittek series #vlog squad #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad fanfic #vlog squad blog #vlog squad smut #settling down #daddy!Jeff #stepdad!Jeff #settling down jw

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girlwiththegreenhat · 5 years ago

Note

2, 23, and 67 for the viddy game asks please!!

2) A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.

Arguably most of the games I’ve played had some influence on me creatively. Like, I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent drawing fanart for video games, and all their styles left some mark on my own. I think some of the biggest credits go to TF2 and BATIM, I really like how TF2 handles it’s characters both visually and… as characters, and I’ve done a lot of art studies based on it’s comic and you can prob see it’s influence on my art if you squint. And while I didn’t get much visual influence from BATIM directly, the hundreds of hours I spent drawing either direct BATIM fanart or BATIM AU art did me a lot of good the last couple years xD It’s also the game I’ve written the most for, so I probably got the most writing experience from it too.

23) The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?

Speaking purely on what I have real statistics for, Team Fortress 2 recently overtook Borderlands 2 as my most played game. never thought that’d happen

(if you include the Borderlands 2 playtime logged on my brother’s PS4 though, it definitely still wins xD)

If we’re just doing estimates, probably MapleStory - I played that like, every day for years as a kid. I’ve only got 25 hours logged on it in Steam, but if I had a counter for how much I played it in my lifetime, it’d absolutely be in the thousands. I wasted. Soooooooo much time on that game lmfao. And it was time well wasted, mostly. Sometimes I still shudder over the time around 12 or 13 where I spent four straight hours trying to do the Zakum jump quest, and the only reason I stopped was because I had severe eye strain. Couldn’t see anything, it was all violent flashing black and white strips webbed across my vision. My mom had to lead me back to bed because I literally Could Not See. Almost thought I was drugged lmfao. The real kicker was nailing the quest first try the next morning…

67) Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?

I’m pretty sure I already told the story Several Times about when I found my older brother’s GameBoy with some mario game loaded onto it and it was like one of the best weeks of my childhood, but it’s kinda tricky to think of any other memories. My parents were very strict ‘no video games’ people so aside from a couple free online games and chill stuff like Rollercoaster Tycoon and Zoo Tycoon I didn’t get to play them very often. They bought us a Wii for christmas when I was nine or ten, which was the point when they started to lighten up about them…

One of my fav memories is probably when I was 12, over the summer I decided I wanted to actually level up a character in MapleStory instead of just leveling when my friends wanted to. I made a character, a new class at the time called Aran, and decided I was going to level her up all the way to 200 (the max level at the time). This was before the Big Bang patch of late 2011 that made leveling STUPID easy, so having a high level character was a BIG deal. The first big milestone was having a character that was level 50, because at that level characters unlock Mounts, which were monsters you could ride. Prior to this it had taken me months to get my first character to around level 37, aaand I also fucked up all her stats so as a warrior she had like no strength but a bunch of health, cuz I was like ‘oh dying in fights suck, so if i have a BUNCH of health, i will have enough time to escape!! BRILLIANT LOGIC IN A GAME ABOUT FIGHTING MONSTERS, YES.’ (I distinctly remember finding a fellow warrior and telling them about how much health I had, and tldr their reaction was ‘!? you’re lying that’s illegal’).

BUT ANYWAYS, i set my first goal and ended up hitting it, which was getting my new character to level 50 in a month. There was a party quest I loved doing, I think it had a Real Name but everyone just called it the Ludi PQ. It was based in a town that was basically made of toys and legos, and it had the prettiest background music Ever. It also gave ASSLOADS of EXP for the time, so it was faster than farming monsters for EXP or doing regular quests. I played it more than any other party quest, and cuz it was summer I could literally play nonstop every day, so… I did! And I got my character to level 50 in exactly a month. It felt SO good running around towns on my fancy new mount, which for this class starts as a brown wolf.

(not my character, all my old MS screenshots are on my laptop = u =)

This is more like a long and broad story rather than one memory, oops. Anyway yeah, level 50 in a month, it was a Big Accomplishment back then. From there it was my childhood Mission to get my character to level 200, which I did end up doing three years ago. I hardly had much interest in MS at that point, but I was so close and I had to get to the finish line, if only for the dumb 12 year old who invested her heard and soul into being the STRONKEST ARAN EVAR SO I CAN DEFEAT THE B L A C K M A G E… … … … … …

i’m sad they made the level cap 250, cuz i didn’t get the cool [GALAXXI HAS REACHED LEVEL 200! CONGRATS!] server-wide announcement when i finally did it, and they don’t do it for level 250 so there’s no point in getting that far 8) (level 200 is still the level cap… IN MY HEART.) i’m also sad you can get to level 50 in like two days now, mere hours if you grind like your life depends on it, but damn it’s fun having the memory of that month when my life was maplestory morning to night, playing the Ludi PQ for hours and bonding with strangers over memes and teamwork, and the EUPHORIC moment when i finally hit level 50 and all that hard work paid off.

... this post got Real Long but I got caught up in The Memories okay? xD thanks for the ask!!

#liz blogs #ask #serialsharkgay #maplestory #team fortress 2 #i miss maplestory #i miss when it was actually good and there was actually community to it #you can't even do party quests anymore cuz people dont play enough #its really sad to have played this game for over 10 years and to try and play it these days and its just #such a sad shell of what it used to be #windia used to be one of the most popular servers and its where all my characters are #i hear the reboot server and i think.... scandia? are both super active but everything else is Big Ded #and im not invested enough in the game anymore to make new characters in those worlds #nostalgia #is a painful little thing

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meadowmines · 5 years ago

Text

MAG110-111: Analog Liveblogging at the laundromat

[ID: screenshot of a bit of messy handwritten MAG111 notes, focused on a running tally of the number of times the listener thought “fuck you, Mary” over the course of the episode. There are nine tally marks. Immediately under that: “Let [clap] Gerard [clap] Rest [clap]”]

Have some laundromat analog liveblogging! Because my handwriting is godawful especially when I am trying to write fast to keep up, I’ll just transcribe the interesting bits below each pic.

MAG110:

s p i d e r f i l m [horrified face]

“the spiders that devour” “spiders are eating” [even more horrified face]

A Guest for Mr Spider: THE MOVIE

[marginalia: spider going “raarrr”]

no digital ohhhhhh shiiiiiitt

Film web [horrified face]

* The Web dun got Dexter *

[marginalia: spider going “hi”]

Not pictured: the annual corpse washing ashore. Basira handwaving off how she got that info, lol. Martin very slowly and pointedly offering Melanie tea! ELIAS DOESN’T SEE EVERYTHING

MAG111:

There’s a lot going on here so I’m just gonna show y’all the whole page...

I don’t remember what some of this shit referenced but anyway:

Jon’s probably reading Sanskrit now, yeah

Note the "Fuck you, Mary” tally. This is how many times I said “fuck you, Mary” throughout the episode. tbh that seems a little low

LET 👏 GERARD 👏 REST 👏

“no, it wasn’t [peaceful, referring to Gertrude’s death]” “Good, I don’t think she wanted that” eeeeeeehhhhhh well I’m just spitballing here but I’d guess if she had her druthers she would probably have preferred “peaceful” to “getting shot by her boss” but what do I know

oh gross noises [Gerry’s page being torn out of the book]

“dying isn’t bad, it’s staying dead that sucks”

storage unit? Jan Kelly--THE KEY!!!!!1! [the one Jon found with Gertrude’s laptop under the floorboard, I was wondering when we were going to find out what was up with that]

long awkward silence, bless these nerds

Another mark in the “fuck you Mary” tally: killed Gerry’s dad to practice her bookbinding, also a possible “fuck you Gertrude” for learning2skinbook

NO SHIT THERE ARE MORE RITUALS. You heard Gertrude herself mention The Buried planning one. Michael told you she fed him to The Spiral to disrupt one. C’MON JON THINK FFS.

They [the Entities] are fear. Well, yeah, that actually does make more sense than them being cosmic horrors in the classic sense

Oh, Our Boy Smirke was all into this shit.

“Like colors but if colors hated me” .......yes. sure. let’s go with that. thank u jon.

Entity Roll Call! Oh, I liked this part.

meat!

“Electrified meat squeezing air at each other” I was folding my clothes at this point but had to stop just to write that phrase down because... I mean... he’s not wrong but...

The Eye’s ritual aw shit (not written: trepidation about Rituals sometimes dragging other stuff in, also about Rituals happening in clusters, also is that what Gertrude was doing with the burning stuff and the plotting to destroy the Archive?)

“my friends call me Gerry” *GROSS SOBBING*

#the magnus archives

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tarot-fumblings · 5 years ago

Text

A tarot reading: reconciliation with a loved one

Last night I was drunk. And sad. And grieving over the cancelation of my favorite tv show. And my heart was aching, torn apart, pulled in too many directions. I felt like: I need to make room for this work of art to take root in my own heart. I felt despair that I live in a world where true artistry gets killed and feminine voices get silenced. I felt depressed and sad and I was starting to have a panic attack.

I chose to do this spread of reconciliation with a loved one because that’s exactly how I feel about the loss. I feel like I have been torn from someone I love… whether it’s the characters or the narrative or their archetypes and what they represent. Without this cultural touchstone I would have felt so much despair in recent years and this show was like a map helping me navigate the dazzling darkness.

So I did this spread.

I shuffled the deck five times, one for each of the five movements.

And I pulled these cards, in my drunken sadness.

I pulled them upside down, which made sense to me because everything felt upended.

And I was amazed.

(Notes based on Modern Tarot by Michelle Tea)

You: The High Priestess

The most mysterious, radical and feminine card in the Tarot… to me I saw this and knew immediately that it signified the Angel energy inside of me…

The tapestry behind her is in part a glyph for the Tree of Life… hugely meaningful to me because of my obsession with Avalon and my work on Lumi Island.

If the High Priestess has come to you it means stillness is called for. I don’t have all the information. More will be revealed. Stay calm. This slow reveal of deep knowledge will enhance the situation.

Grow in my own power.

Your Loved One: The Seven of Pentacles

This cards also calls for rest and reassessment. The figure has stopped working and is considered their progress.

Since this card represents the place of “my lover” ie “the story I love” then I was astounded to consider that maybe the story itself, in its esoteric muse-form, needed to step back from culture and allow the seeds of its wonderment to germinate within culture. Too much too soon isn’t always a good thing. We need to till the soil of our hearts and get stronger to make a difference moving forward.

The Challenges: The Nine of Swords

This is how I feel so acutely about the imminent death of the story I love. We are all fighting to keep it from being cancelled, but the final death is looming so terribly and assuredly on the horizon. Well. It already happened. It’s already been killed. Only a series of supernatural movements done with perfect feeling could bring it back to life at this point.

This card also represents violence against women. Which feels acutely appropriate.

And it challenges me to assess whether my distress is real or blown out of proportion.

The Future: The Empress

The core of the Empress is connection. Wow. Just wow. Not only is the Empress connected, but all of her connections run deep. She is connected in ways we all long to be but that often seem somewhat out of reach.

The earth is her home. When I read that I was like: whoa. She belongs here. The angel and the story belong here. As do I. I was reminded of the poetry of Mary Oliver, how sublime truths are uncovered through mundane experiences. I felt strongly that a certain ordinary holiness was being revealed. And reaffirmed.

The earth gives us everything we need for basic survival.

The Solutions: The Devil

As soon as I saw this card I knew it had Hunter’s energy in it.

At first I thought it meant I needed to lean into my inner bitch energy. But I’m not so sure about that.

Modern Tarot says that when the Devil arrives, it’s time to get serious. I am under a spell of a lie and its consequences for me will be real. The hardest part is how likely it is that I have no idea that what I’m believing in so fervently and spending so much energy on is a dangerous falsehood.

That gives me chills. That makes me so sad and makes me want to cry.

I need to do the heavy-duty soul-searching required for the difficult work of cracking the belief system or denial that’s protecting the problem. What am I doing or believing that is causing harm to myself and others?

I need to get clear about what my master is right now.

So that concludes my notes from the book. But I’m not really sure how Hunter relates to it all. I know he does. In some way. But I do feel a huge block keeping me from understanding.

Final thoughts…

My grief is so real and so palpable about the ending of this story. I also feel exhausted and tired when I think of writing my own story. I feel insufficient. I feel like I don’t have enough. But I know I have exactly what I need. I understand this, but it feels like a rumor that does not yet live in my body.

Where do I belong? How do I create stories that touch on something deep and divine? How do I tap into the deep feminine energy of the immaterial world? Or how do I find that energy present right here and now? How do I unearth this story, like excavating a narrative that is buried and waiting for us all to find it, a narrative that others have tried to bury and kill time and again?

I’m just one small voice a fumbling writer, with shabby equipment always deteriorating.

How can the parts of me that are dying in the face of overwhelming pressure… how can I keep them safe… how can I survive… how can I keep my feminine energy and instinctual stories alive?

Idk.

Right now I feel despair and like my soul is dying.

Addendum:

I tried to post all this to Tumblr and the post died. Luckily, I had screenshots of it, so I retyped it on my laptop. While doing so, I meditated on the content of the words, and I think a nugget is being revealed to me.

I believe that the lie I need to fight against is this hero/victim/villain mentality, the kind that permeates the popular stories in Hollywood, the kind that fuels our political climate. I need to detox my mind from these stories and feed my soul with older wisdom.

This will be a long road, friends.

#reconciliation tarot spread #tarot journal #my tarot #the high priestess #seven of pentacles #nine of swords #the empress #the devil #smith waite borderless tarot deck

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kob131 · 6 years ago

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RWDE Story Comparison 1: Dudeblade Part 1

https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/181687313437/done-dirty-word-choice

I’d give you the middle finger Dudeblade but I cut it so I’ll just settle for verbally tearing you apart.

You assholes wanna talk to other writers? FIne, better make sure you don’t share the same blind spots.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Not entirely sure how to break this down.

Basically, the choice in words is important. In a non-comedic series like this one, fans, theorists, and critics are going to comb over pretty much every detail.

Except that in a different post, when someone (suspicious you never mention WHO considering this is before Monty’s death) you bitch at the writers for a joke. An even then, people combed over Red Vs.Blue when it is largely comedic so that doesn’t work here.

Why am I doing this? Cuz Dudeblade is gonna try to use comedy as a defense since I’m gonna be using his precious fanfic.

Easy example: The word choice on how Qrow describes his semblance (fun fact: I have this particular screenshot labeled “Qrow being a melodramatic piece of shit” on my laptop).

Now, with the phrase “It’s always there, whether I like it or not.” Heavily implies that it’s on 24/7. That he has no control over it whatsoever. However…

This clarification from the Reddit AMA then says that Qrow’s semblance isn’t at all how he worded it. Now, this could be because even Qrow doesn’t know his semblance that well, but given that these are the writers whose response to being given an out by a fan who theorized that the reason Zwei survived all that stuff in Volume 2 was because Tai unlocked his aura was “There’s this thing called ‘Anime.’” I doubt that they’ll use that reason.

Funny thing:

"Indeed." Ganon added, "Do you want an update on that curse that I cast?"

Lex hummed and nodded in response. "Well, it took hold of the one that the emotionally weakest. They should be turning into a being of near-insufferableness soon."

"I'm pretty sure that 'insuferableness' isn't a word." Lex mentioned.

"It does not matter." Ganon replied, "Soon, we shall be able to use one of their own against them."

"Why the one with the most glaring emotional weaknesses, though? Wouldn't a much more stable victim be more useful to our cause?"

"The curse works in mysterious ways, Luthor. We must first force them on our side. Then, we break the heroes from the inside." Ganon replied.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11815703/104/Aftermath-The-DB-Chronicles

Why was the change so drastic? - Because time travel That's why.

https://www.deviantart.com/dudebladex/journal/Mewtwopoint-of-Future-Past-Alt-Timeline-battles-694649032

You’ve pulled that shit yourself.

So if it’s NOT okay when Miles does it, why did YOU do it?

Here’s another example:

Jaune knowing about Yang’s mom. Given Yang’s dialogue with Blake back in Volume 2, we can gather that it’s a very important secret to her. Given her reaction to Qrow knowing where Raven was but never telling her, we also know that for a fact. Given that Yang said that Ruby was a bit too young when she went on her “I want to find my mom” search to remember, we can gather that it’s likely that even Ruby doesn’t know. But, even if she did know, what reason does she have to tell RNJR?

Was she all “Hey guys! Let’s all share secrets with each other as a trust exercise! I’ll go first! Yang’s been searching for her biological mom for over ten years!”???

See, if it had been Ruby who had said Jaune’s line, we could gather that, yeah. Yang probably told her what happened. But we don’t get that. Instead, we get Jaune asking about it. Which either implies a betrayal of trust either on Qrow’s part, or on Ruby’s part. Either way, one of those two shared information that was very personal and important to Yang, and it was… brushed over.

IBurnBlonde: What, are you planning on dating me or something? IBurnBlonde: T? IBurnBlonde: Tifa? IBurnBlonde: Seriously. It's been ten minutes. What happened? IBurnBlonde: Forget it. I'm signing off. * * * [LockYourHeart has made a Private Chat With Buster Blader] LockYourHeart: Cloud! I need your help! Buster Blader: What is it? Did Yang confess her love to you? LockYourHeart: No, but she almost figured out that I have plans to date her! Buster Blader: smhâ€¦ You didn't go on your tirade about how nobody deserves her, did you? LockYourHeart: â€¦ Buster Blader: You dug yourself in this, Tifa. I'm not digging you out. LockYourHeart: You are absolutely no help. Buster Blader: If you want help, as Link. Speaking of, I think he's in the main chat. LockYourHeart: Really? We might get to see how he chats with people? Buster Blader: Yep. Buster Blader: Tifa? Buster Blader: You did this to Yang, didn't you?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11815703/103/Aftermath-The-DB-Chronicles

Why do I bring this up? This is a betrayal of Yang’s trust in Tifa except Tifa is doing it for far more selfish and creepy reasons.

Again, apparently it’s okay when DUdeblade does it.

And as for a third example, we have this:

If the narrative or writers wanted to paint Tai as a “Father who is trying to work through his loss to take care of his kids” then these lines of dialogue don’t help in the slightest. “

"What?" Jaune asked, "Are you seriously going to tell us that we need to go out there? - I already lost enough people in my life, thank you very much."

"Then you aren't cut out for the real world, kid." Frank said, "I lost my wife and children, and I still go out to keep the city clean of criminal scum every day. But you?" He gestured to the swordsman, "You only lost someone you barely paid attention to. That was your only personal loss. Everyone else here lost more than you, more than once, and we still go out there to fight." Jaune was at a loss for words. "So make your decision. Live and hide, or fight and die.

" "Your girlfriend chose the second option. But considering that you couldn't be bothered to even try to save one of your other friends after bemoaning losing everything earlier, I guess it's no surprise that you can't be bothered to try when it's the whole world at stake." Deadpool sneered.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11815703/134/Aftermath-The-DB-Chronicles

"Klicks? What are those?" Jaune asked, "Can't we use a distance people actually know? Like Kilometers?"

"How did you get into a prestigious combat school without knowing this basic combat stuff again?" Chun-Li jeered.

"I uhâ€¦" Jaune stuttered. "He cheated." Tucker clarified, "He wasn't sent there to be used as a test dummy, he actually cheated."

"So, why doesn't he know the basics?" Chief asked in an annoyed tone. "I heard from Blake that he slept in class and spent most of his study time reading comics." Cheetara mentioned,

"That probably has something to do with it." Jaune sighed, "Can we justâ€¦ drop it? Please?"

"This is going to escalate later." Mega Man realized, "I don't know how, but it will."

"Seriously, were you reading a comic book while we were doing the debriefing on the way here?"

"No!" "He actually wasn't." Tucker defended, "He was busy crying over a picture of his girlfriend that he has on his phone."

"There are other people who lost more than you." Master Chief pointed out, "Also, two Klicks to Joker and Skull's battleground."

"Guts definitely lost more than you." Doomguy pointed out, "How someone on the internet thought that you had the worse life than him is beyond me, but whatever."

"Guts has not had a 'worse life' than mine!" Jaune whined. "How so?" Chief asked, putting his binoculars away.

"His girlfriend's still alive." Jaune said, as if it proved his point.

Everyone else was silent. Even one Predator facepalmed at the statement.

"Starting to see why Guts said that nobody would miss you." Tucker sighed, "You make pain be all about yourself, and don't let anyone else mourn.”

"Please." Mega Man sighed, "Please tell me that you're making a joke that's in poor taste and that you don't actually believe that."

"Uh, itâ€¦ kinda isâ€¦" Jaune trailed off.

"Oh my God." Tucker snarled, "You actually think that?"

"Well, I don't know his life!" Jaune defended.

"His girlfriend was violated!" Sonya screamed, "I swear, if you actually think that dying is a worse fate than that, then I'm throwing you out there to get killed!"

"See, this is why nobody likes you." Doomguy pointed out, "You don't care about anybody but yourself, and put more people in danger than you actually save."

"The only thing worse than baggage is baggage that whines and complains all the time." Master Chief replied, "Get your priorities straight kid. People might let failures slide if you actually try, but if you just look away from a friend about to be killed without trying to save them, then you aren't any better than the killer."

"How so?" Jaune asked, "All I hear is 'Jaune, you suck at this!' or 'Arc, you suck at that!' but I never hear any ideas of how to improve!"

"Did you ask?" Mega Man asked, deflecting some plasma blasts with his Mirror Buster. "Well uh, noâ€¦ But-"

"No buts." The Blue Bomber replied, "It's not our job to 'open the door' for you and offer advice. You have to be willing to accept it, and acknowledge that you have things to improve on!"

"Yeah, I mean, I was willing to listen to Wash when he was offering some tips on how to be a better leader back on Chorus. But you just grunt and walk away." Tucker pointed out, taking his sword out of another Hydra soldier.

"You aren't complaining that it's hard to improve," Orchid growled, "You're complaining that it's not 'magically happening' automatically."

"Beat has the area covered. We can move on to the next sector." Mega Man reported.

"You can either stay here, or keep going." Tucker said to Jaune, who was visibly shaken up, "But we're not going to be playing babysitter. I get enough of that with Caboose. Except Caboose can actually fight."

Our HEROES ladies and gentlemen, showing even LESS empathy than Dudeblade’s delusions he calls Taiyang Xiao Long. For those of you who don’t know, Dudeblade hates Taiyang because he called Yag’s depression ‘moping.’ And yet here is his HEROES, the guys we’re suppose to be ROOTING FOR, mocking Jaune for the exact same thing, using arguments Dudeblade as decried as immoral and sociopath.

Once again, not okay for RWBY but a FAR FAR FAR worse version is okay for Dudeblade.

Overall, these lines and details don’t have a lot of thought put into them. They’re used to further develop characters, but the writers don’t realize the implications of who is saying it, what they are saying, and why the choice of words matter.

I could bring up in each instance how Dudeblade is fucking up, whether it be that Qrow doesn’t understand his Semblance, that Yang could have old JNPR like Blake told them about her race or the numerous arguments about Taiyang but you’ve heard it all before. Instead let me prove to you that RWDE has no fucking idea what it is doing, By showcasing that for every single bitch they deal out: they commit the same if not WORSE sin.

The issue from them isn’t the action: it’s just the person who did it they hate.

#dudeblade

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admitlys · 7 years ago

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SMUT | part i | yoonmin

Where Jimin is a secret smut writer and accidentally sends it to one of his coworkers

Jimin lets out a quiet yawn as he finishes writing the very explicit chapter of a book he writes for the hell of it and the simple enjoyment of creating characters and plots, using whatever you can come up with to make up a world for people to imagine. Though he has no intention of particularly showing this certain chapter to anyone else but the readers on the app. Oh boy, what would his friends and co workers think if they found out that Jimin sometimes writes smut that has readers dying.

they at first would probably not believe that someone who seems as cute as him can write something so dirty.

jimin finished the chapter, it was at the climax point of the book, literally if I may add.

He taps his fingers on his desk with boredom as he decides what to do next. He publishes it before he copies the link to the chapter so he can email it to his online friend, Taehyung . His phone goes off and he grabs it. He opens his phone to see a text from his co worker who might he had, is very attractive to him and maybe... a very big influence in jimin's smut. Though they're not the exact same person they have similar traits and appearance as Jimin imagines the character, which is what he says but it is pretty obvious.

Jimin quickly opens up another tab and opens the document with his completed work assignment.

You know those embarrassing times where you go to copy something and you think you did but it actually didn't copy. Of course, Jimin isn't going to have this sudden epiphany until moments later when he does possibly one of the worst things he can possibly do.

He goes to his email and shares the link with Yoongi, sending it to him and sighing in relief to get it over with. He plays with his blonde hair as he thinks about Yoongi.

What seems to be a couple minutes is when jimin's phone goes off once again.

Jimin goes extremely pale as he sees a screenshot from his raunchy chapter he wrote before he emailed Yoongi.

"Oh my god!" Jimin screeches as he slams his laptop shut and closes his phone. He throws himself back into the chair, screaming into his hands. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." jimin says, pulling his hair as if its going to rip out.

Jimins heart stops as he stares at the ceiling. "I'm doomed, I fucked myself over." he cries out.

There is no way Jimin can get out of this. If Yoongi has read it, with no doubt he has since he's opened up the link. He'll realize who it's about. The character that is a spot on representation of Yoongi in a book.

This is possibly the most embarrassing moment of Jimin's life and he's had a lot of moments but this... this takes the cake.

Jimin can't reply to him, he's too embarrassed.

He watches as his phone lights up.

Oh how Jimin wishes he can skip work but his boss, kim Seokjin has been on his ass about taking too many sick days and being late to work. Maybe he can dodge Yoongi for a day at least though their cubicles are near each other.

"Oh god," Jimin whines, biting his nail.

Jimin turns off his phone and stands up. He wants to die under a rock because how embarrassing. He curses the day he has to go to work which just so happens to be tomorrow... it'll be fresh in yoongi's memory.

When work rolls around, Jimin is a mess. He couldn't sleep well as he thought endlessly about the biggest mistake he's made in the longest while.

When he walks out of the hellevator he's greeted by a bubbling Hoseok. It practically is since this is what Jimin fears the most. People finding out he writes smutty chapters. Especially Yoongi. " Morning Jimin!" He chirps as he walks over to him.

"Morning." Jimin says quietly, wanting the older to stay quiet so Yoongi won't know he's been here.

Hoseok gets distracted by Jungkook who waves him down from across the office and Hoseok grins at Jimin before running off to go see the boy.

Jimin walks to his cubicle where a sticky note lays on his computer screen.

We need to talk

- myg

"Fuck."

"Jimin?"

Jimin spins around sharply to find Namjoon. He's holding folders and Jimin smiles in relief.

Oh but of course that's short lived.

"I bumped into Yoongi, he told me if I saw you to tell you to go to the break room downstairs." Namjoon proceeds to tell Jimin what Yoongi has told him and the boy feels a pit in his stomach.

"Alright, is it that urgent?" Jimin asks and namjoon nods.

"Seems to be."

Jimin with all might in his body shuffles towards the elevator. He takes it down to the floor below him and walks towards the break room. His hands clam up by his sides as he walks to the break room. He opens the door, poking his head in to see yoongi brewing some coffee.

"You wanted to see me?" Jimin pipes up and Yoongi turns around sharply.

"Yes, what the fuck did you send me last night?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to send that to you. I'm so embarrassed." Jimin cries out, hiding his face in his hands. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"You write smut?" Yoongi breathes out, setting down his coffee cup. He crosses his arms.

"Sort of, Well... yeah." Jimin says, staring down at his shoes in embarrassment.

"I just never thought that you could write something so... dirty." Yoongi says. Jimin is afraid to look up at him knowing how terrible it is. He doesn't think he can look him in the eyes. The only thing Jimin is glad about, for now is that it seems Yoongi doesn't know the top is based off of him.

But boy is he wrong.

"And this one character... youngmin, he seems very familiar." Yoongi says, raising an eyebrow as Jimin looks up at him through his lashes.

"I can explain, ple-"

He suddenly freezes seeing Yoongi's smirk on his face as he crosses his arms.

"Did you send me a link to your smut written about me?"

#yoonmin #part two coming later #yoonmin oneshot #wake me up #my first go at posting on tumblr properly i guess????#lord have mercy on my soul #oneshot

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println-archive · 7 years ago

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warning for tumblr user epiphanct

disclaimer: most of what happened between us was on now deleted quotev/quizazz accounts and my old blog that i deactivated after getting stalked by someone irl. all the screenshots i can give are from our email conversations, but i can get some testimonies from people who knew her about how she treated me in public and what i told them at the time it all went down.

(@stillwritinghaikus & @sadcryptid knew me and eli most of the time, but @gafou was there towards the end and can say what they were like the few times we all hung out also only contact these ppl off anon, they don’t all want to be involved too publicly but agreed to be included as character witnesses to who eli is-- there are other people but i don’t have ways to contact a lot of them because we fell out of touch over the years)

anyone who has followed me for long or knows me knows i still deal with panic attacks, issues in relationships, issues with self worth, and nightmares because of a bad ex-girlfriend.

me and eli (i think that’s what they’re going by now and i believe they use they/she pronouns now) were best friends and on-again off-again since 2013 up until some time in 2017. consistently from 2014 until 2016 (i tried to detach from them in late 2016 so we talked significantly less and i would ignore them when they got angry or anything), they emotionally abused me.

tw for incest, daddy kink, and emotional abuse under the cut-- don’t harass her about the things regarding incest or daddy kink because most of that is from when they were 13-15, i’m only including it because its a testament to what type of person they are and something that is available in our email chains to prove. i was complicit in a lot of the incest rp/kink but at no point was i legit into it, i just never called them out on it and i went with it

we met when they were 12 almost 13 and i was 13 (i think) on our first accounts on quizazz (now quotev), a quiz and story-making website, because they spoiled fred dying for me in a post about harry potter.

from then we started talking and eventually became best friends. things were mostly normal and healthy overall for the first year until i got into my first relationship w/ someone. they started to get possessive of my time and over me but i thought it was normal and it pretty much was especially when i found out why-- they confessed to having a crush on me. i got permission from my S.O. at the time to be poly and date both of them but eventually i dumped my S.O. for eli alone. it was around when we became exclusive (when they were 13 and i was 14) that things went from normal messy teenager dating to controlling my entire life

they would get angry when i went to sleep, saying that i had to stay up for them or giving me the silent treatment the next morning if i went to sleep when they didn’t want me to. they didn’t limit asking me to stay up to when they were unstable either, most of the time their reason was that they wanted to rp. they would snap and withhold affection from me if i went to sleep on accident or my mom took my laptop away so i would go to sleep. at some point it reached the point that i was missing days of classes in a row because i was sleep deprived and throwing up in the mornings from stress and lack of sleep. i told them this and they still didn’t stop.

they would also control what i posted on my blog or what i had my layout look like on quotev, because if they didn’t like what it was they would claim we had nothing in common and should break up or they should unfollow me or they should block me. most notably, when i made a sideblog for taylor swift posts at some point i started spending most of my time on that blog because taylor swift was a hyperfocus at the time. i switched that blog to my mainly active one and made it a multifandom with a focus on taylor swift, and they got mad at me for posting so much taylor swift. to placate her, i changed it so i only posted taylor swift in my queue and then, finally, i just ran a multifandom blog and avoided reblogging anything about taylor swift more than two or three times a week. i need to emphasize here: i never tried to make eli talk to me about taylor swift after they made it clear they didn’t like them, i didn’t talk to them about it and i didn’t require that they interact with my posts or anything. they just didn’t want me to post about my interest. this also happened with pokemon and homestuck, but to a lesser extent-- the fight was over once i changed my layout from having art for them, i was still allowed to post some.

we broke up sometime in late 2014 for good, but they still made all of my decisions. they were possessive and called me theirs, they didn’t like it when i liked girls who weren’t them, and only let me show affection for them. i was allowed on relationship other than eli, and only because they approved of her and set me up with her. in the end, we broke up because, with eli’s manipulation and forced dependence on them, i was still in love with them. then, within the month of breaking up with this girl, eli switched the script completely and would randomly go through bouts of anger where they would give me the silent treatment and vague about me for still having feelings for them.

they also made it very clear that they got to pick who i could and could not be friends with. most notably with my then best friend dani (@sadcryptid, dont message them publicly abt this). when they found out i was talking to dani in any capacity-- whether i mentioned her or posted something about her-- they would give me the silent treatment or yell at me about it extensively. this went on for YEARS (two? i think) until i ended up dropping dani for entirely unrelated reasons (we’re cool now). when, briefly after, i made friends with a girl who went by luna (who sexually harassed me so eli ended up being right but they didn’t know about that at the time), they lost their shit guilt tripping me into dropping luna too because they wanted to be my only close friend. another time my friend irl confessed to having a crush on me and eli made me talk to her less and said i was theirs

they also briefly shipped reylo and wincest, i have no idea if they still do but i know they did as long as i knew them, and shipped nico from percy jackson (a canon gay character) with their girl oc. (they had a whole breakdown when nico was confirmed gay, saying it ruined the books for them)

they also would give me the silent treatment whenever something good happened in my life-- when i got tickets for the nebraska comic con, or got to see taylor swift, they would give me the silent treatment or yell at me

they had an incest kink to the point of making up ocs to be their twin and older sister, only agreeing to human aus for michael/lucifer from spn if they were related in them (until they changed their mind to getting angry at me for suggesting them), and had a literal daddy kink-- not just into calling their partner daddy but to the point where they would propose rps where their self insert was the literal child of michael and they would have sex.

they also liked professor/student plots, especially in harry potter with professor snape and their self inserts.

so here are the screenshots now, for your ref in the screenshots, they’ve gone by “mya”, “lottie/charlotte”, “wren”, and “matt”. they also have an oc other than the fake siblings that come up a few times named “juliet” and one named “holly” and one named “casey”. i know that the screenshots don’t have proof of everything i’ve outlined, like i said above most of it happened on accounts that have since been deleted or deactivated so i only have what i could find in my gmail.

i’ll add more screenshots as i find them

#spence.txt #u can rb if u want i dont want anyone to be stuck in a toxic friendship w them #call out post //#long post //

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elisabettasims · 7 years ago

Photo

I haven’t been able to save my game because sims keep dying, heh heh. I didn’t want to try to fire up PS at this point to crop a screenshot because my laptop would probably die, so I took a cell phone photo of this. Grim’s fed up. He hasn’t finished reaping Akira yet and there are two more bodies.

Autonomous murder is being turned off until the bodies are cleaned up.

Just for reference, it’s the first sim day in this game and it’s only 10:15 in the morning.

#TS4 Slaughter House #TS4 #The Sims 4 #Sims 4

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neeksleep · 5 years ago

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Day 1: Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight

The game I couldn’t stop talking about in 2018

I couldn’t tell you my criteria for games that attract me. I don’t think I’m too off the norm in my preferences. I rarely buy hyper-niche games or games with divided opinions. I am into tons of first party Nintendo and Sony games with a handful of well-regarded third-party games.

Before the Nintendo Switch came out, I projected a stigma to almost every indie game. Shovel Knight was the one exception, but it was also so well reviewed, and talked about so much that I was able to dissociate it from the ‘indie game’ tag. I also never really got into gaming on my laptop. I have Steam and a ton of games, but I just never got around to them. Even though they were on my laptop, and therefore portable, it wasn’t portable enough for me to want to play the games and just finish them up. They were indie games, and therefore lower priority.

Once I bought my switch though, I suddenly realized that, past the few big titles like Zelda and Mario, there were quite a few lulls between releases. But opening the eShop and following the Nintendo Directs, I saw a ton of indie games that was interested in but just didn’t want to play them on the PC. With the Switch though, I wanted more things to play wherever I want with the control scheme and level of portability that works for me.

Jump to E3 2018, Nintendo has their usual E3 Nintendo Direct, and there I see a game that just hits me with its unique art style and a description that was exactly the kind of game I was looking for. Doubly so, the game was available on the eShop on the same day. I knew of the game and saw screenshots, but I hadn’t really gone out of my way to check out videos or reviews of the game…

And I am so glad I didn’t.

Hollow Knight is something special. It has this world that tells a story through its art alone and has so much in its world to offer at every turn. It is not a game for everyone to play, but I do think it’s a game worth experiencing in some manner. If you’re going to watch a Let’s Play, please do, preferably from someone who takes their time to talk to NPCs and explore the nooks and crannies of the world.

The World

Right away, you’re shown a cutscene that gives a vague idea of where the Knight (the main character is given no official name) is headed: an quiet world with broken bug-like architecture, about as barren as the Knights eyes, strung with lampposts guiding his way. The intro is very reminiscent of a Castlevania game, where little context is given other than “something bad is definitely go on in that location over there”.

Littered throughout the world are NPCs and enemies that stray from the typical design you might expect if this was a human-filled world. You still have your annoying fly bat and zombie monsters, but the art style makes them stand out amongst other games. The game has several biomes from an abandoned underground city to a hidden bee colony. The world doesn’t stay dark for long, as you enter the different biomes, you’ll notice their personalities in the small details and varying colour palettes. This was a great reason for why this game really latched onto me. Having a depressing world with a depressing look for too long is tiring, and Hollow Knight manages to keep the tone of the world and its story without resorting to using drab colours. In a game where you may end up needing to backtrack quite a bit, it helped that each room was visually memorable, so I didn’t need to keep resorting to the map to help me navigate around.

The world itself has tons to say, but so do the characters. You’ll be encountering several NPC’s along your way each with personalities and dialogue that adds to the charm of the world. You’ll find an old shaman lady whose hums and murmurs can be heard as you approach her home. It’s the little details like the sounds and animations that show how much love the developers put into every aspect of the game.

Gameplay

If you have played a 2D Castlevania (or one of the many Metroidvania’s out there), you won’t find anything too new here. An action platformer with a few special abilities and stat augmentations are what you can expect. Hollow Knight uses a collectable charm system that will add or affect certain gameplay mechanics, and charms can either be bought through normal gameplay progress, bought through shops, or as a reward for exploring the world. The currency (geos) can be contained through several means, however much like the Dark Souls games, dying results in losing all your collected Geos. You can retrieve them by returning to the room which you died and defeating an easily defeated ghost version of yourself. I curbed my frustration of this system by keeping track of items I wanted to purchase and going back to get them as soon as I had enough. Save for a few items, most things can be purchased without really needing to farm for too long.

You will probably want to stock up on charms and do a bit of farming though because Hollow Knight comes in with an above average difficulty. Traversing the world can have its difficult sections, typically more so with platforming rather than enemies, but the bosses will really test your reflexes. There are almost 30 bosses (some optional), not including optional re-fights with higher difficulties. My experience with most boss fights was dying over and over until I could learn how to dodge each attack. It was enjoyable reaching a new boss since they tended to be fairly unique each time, but I also didn’t mind re-fighting after losing several times because it was so rewarding learning the pattern and feeling my butt clench as I barely dodged an attack I couldn’t moments before.

Holding down a button will allow you to heal yourself at the risk of being an immobile target and using up a meter that could be used for special attacks. Often, unless it was a requirement to progress through the world, I ended up not using the special attacks. It probably would have made the game easier, but I really enjoyed the feel of using the default sword (called a Nail in this game) weapon. Your attacks can be affected by the charms, increasing its damage or reach, making mechanics like pogoing off an enemy much easier and much more enjoyable. Every hit on an enemy count and the animations and visual flair that go into giving and taking damage feel good as the player.

Generally getting around can be a bit bothersome if you haven’t mastered how to easily defeat or dodge enemies. This is especially true when you’re having troubles with a boss as having to retread an area as you may end up dying a few times before you can get another attempt at the boss. Save points are at benches you’ll find. Luckily, navigating becomes easier, fast travel points open and eventually you’re able to set a single warp point.

Other things: The Music and the “Feelings”

There are a few other things I wanted to touch on. The soundtrack for this game is fantastic. The soundtrack, done by Christopher Larkin, can be heard on Spotify and other music streaming services. It matches the tone of the world as you’re exploring, but also picks up during the boss battles. It’s hard for me to describe why I enjoy it so much, but there are a handful of tracks that I will listen to because they resonated with me.

Another thing I wanted to talk a bit about is just the feeling that the game gives. The world is so different, the combination of the characters, the enemies and the environment left me feeling like I wanted to know everything about the world. As someone who typically doesn’t get into the lore of the game, this was one rare time where I did go out of my way to talk to every NPC and scrounge for any text to read the history of the world.

In Conclusion…

As mentioned, there isn’t much here that strays too far outside some combinations of other Metroidvanias. The part that makes this game stand out though is how well the mechanics are here. There’s so much polish in the combat, you won’t ever feel like you’ve been cheated out of a hit. It’s very apparently when you’re the one screwing up. The difficulty, while harder than your average game, rewards you buy carefully taking your time to learn the pattern of attacks, dodging and everything is telegraphed so well. The world is huge and exploring is rewarded with interesting biomes and world-building. I could keep going on and on, there is so much I want to say about this game, but I don’t want to give anything away. I’ll end it with this: If you enjoy a Metroidvania game with a wonderfully unique world and solid action, this is one of the best choices you’ll have. If you aren’t down for that though, it’s worth checking out a playthrough video of, because if anything, it’s an absolute pleasure to look at.y

#Hollow Knight #Review #Nintendo Switch #Metroidvania #christopher larkin

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